


Sanctuary

by WuvWinchesterHugs



Series: Crossovers [19]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV), Safe Haven - Nicholas Sparks
Genre: Angst, M/M, Past Domestic Violence, Second Chances, Starting Over
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-07-25
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:48:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 20
Words: 21,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24884839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WuvWinchesterHugs/pseuds/WuvWinchesterHugs
Summary: Evan "Buck" Buckley moves to LA, determined to make a new life for himself. He takes a job as a firefighter and keeps a low profile, but he is soon won over by the warmth and caring of the close-knit fire family, especially that of widower Eddie Diaz. With the help of Eddie and his kid, Buck learns to love and trust again -- but when a mysterious stranger arrives and starts asking questions, Buck's dark past threatens to reclaim him.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Series: Crossovers [19]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1542751
Comments: 65
Kudos: 238





	1. Introduction

**Author's Note:**

> While I already said this is based off Nicolas Sparks' Safe Haven, I just want to make clear that this is going to be based off the movie, not the book.

It’s early in the morning. But Evan Buckley’s not thinking about that as he shoves himself through the gates and makes a run for it, bag in hand.

Only one thing is on his mind right now, and that’s, _Don’t stop. Don’t you dare fucking stop. He’s not getting you back. Not this time._

He eventually makes it to a house far enough away to where he’s sure the man he’s running from can’t see him, and starts frantically knocking on the door.

“Open the door! Please, open the door!”

When the owner, an old lady, opens the door, she’s immediately worried. “Oh my Goodness, what’s wrong? Are you okay?”

Then she quickly ushers Buck inside, trying to get him to talk, “Buck...”

Not long after that, Buck’s completely covered in a big hoodie, hair cut and dyed so he’s unrecognizable as he walks into the bus station.

The guy at the counter doesn’t ask questions, just slides the ticket over, “There you go, sir.”, and Buck quickly snatches it up and takes off for the bus that’ll take him to his freedom.

He doesn’t stop to apologize when he bumps into someone, dead set on getting the hell out of here as fast as humanly possible.

Only, once he sees the sirens outside, as well as who’s getting out of the car, Buck’s immediately in a panic, and moves that much faster.

Meanwhile, the cop and his partner march right up to the ticket booth, cutting in front of the other patrons, to ask, showing a picture.

“Excuse me, have you seen this man?”

It’s a picture of Buck, only in his natural hair color and longer than it is now, but it’s enough to where the ticket guy doesn’t recognize him.

“No, don’t think so.”

The cop pushes, “Are you sure?”

The ticket guys repeats, “Nope.”

Meanwhile outside, Buck’s finally reached the bus, knocking so the driver knows he’s coming on board, looks back one last time, then hops on. 

The cops keep up their search, asking everyone if they’ve seen Buck, only to be met with the same response, other than one guy who asks, “Was he more of a chestnut? Shorter hair?”

Buck moves to the furthest part of the bus as he possibly can, right as the cops stop another one from pulling out.

Both cops get on the bus, checking every passenger for the man they’re looking for, while Buck counts his lucky stars they checked the wrong one, and again when they stop yet another bus right behind them.

Buck sits down, holding his sack of belongings close to him as the bus finally pulls away.

He’s free.


	2. Say Anything

The ride on the bus from Hershey to LA is a long one, so Buck spends most of it looking out the window, watching all the cars go by, both to looks at the scenery and to watch for any cop cars that might be looking for him.

Eventually, god knows how many days later, the bus stops in LA, and the first thing Buck thinks of to do is to go to the beach, not to swim, but to just look out into the horizon, coupled with the knowledge that this is his chance to truly start over, from Jeremy, from everything.

But then, he hears a voice from inside a nearby building, and when he turns to look, a very handsome guy is talking to the cashier very animatedly.

“You’re gonna have to throw this out, this tastes like mud.”

“Sir, this is a fresh Ethiopian blend. I assure you, the taste is fine.”

Curious, Buck heads inside to buy a cup for himself, right after the handsome guy in question, as the cashier asks, “Just a mug?”

Buck nods, not bothering with words, and after paying for his coffee, tells her, “Thanks.”, and walks out.

Back outside, hood still up, Buck just looks out at the horizon again, not sure where he should go next, has he watches seagulls take off from all over the place.

Behind him, he hears the bus’ door close behind him, but he doesn’t make a move to catch it.

The further the bus gets away from the stop, the more sure Buck is he’s made his choice.

As of now, LA is his new home.

Back in Hershey, Jeremy is just getting back to the police station, right as someone holds up a thumb drive,

“Got the security footage from the bus station.”

Immediately Jeremy grabs it, pulling up the file on his computer, looking at the docking bays.

Buck winds up walking up and down the beach for the rest of the day, until he hits the Santa Monica boardwalk.

He goes underneath, and once he’s sure no one else under here’s gonna bother him, he lays down too.

The next morning, Buck decides walking into the city is his best bet, and as he does so, tries to ignore all the looks he’s no doubt getting from all the people on their front porches.

He knows how he must look to them. Nothing but the clothes on his back, and a sack of his belongings he just couldn’t part with.

Eventually, he finds his way to the same part of the beach, sitting down as he watches a group of firefighters mingle together by the coffee house from yesterday.

Determined, he gets up and walks right towards them.

“Excuse me.” Buck interrupts, hating himself for it, but knowing he has to nonetheless. “Who do I need to talk to about a job at the station?”

The whole team is instantly uncomfortable, but one of the women speaks up first, suspicious, “Depends on what you need it for.”

Crap. Now Buck’s even more uncomfortable.

“I recently graduated from the academy, and was looking to see if maybe a station had an opening.”

At that, the rest of the team still looks skeptical, until the Asian guy says, “We might have room for you. You said you recently graduated, right?”

Buck nods, “Yeah, I did. Actually that’s why I came out here.”

Jeremy keeps looking at the security footage, going over it from every possible angle, changing which camera he looks at.

But then he sees it, on the camera aimed at the bus going to Philadelphia.

There’s Evan, getting on the bus at the last possible second, hood up, and even with the footage in black and white, Jeremy can see his hair’s different color, and shaved.

It takes about another week of beach squatting before Buck’s an official member of the 118, but they still decide to put him on the scut work, as the newest team member.

In this case, that means cleaning up the loft, washing dishes, hosing down the trucks, keeping them as well as the ambulances stocked with new supplies.

But Buck’s not about to complain, not when he’s finally started his life, a life he never thought he’d be able to have.

Once he’s off his first shift, the first thing he does is go find somewhere to live. As much as he loves the beach, he’s pretty sure he can’t take much more of sleeping on it.

He listens as the realtor tells him,

“Really nice flooring, amazing location close to the city. Not much to look at now, but you can just fix it up however you want.”

Buck’s slightly distracted by looking out the window, taking in the view of the beach, agreeing with the realtor.

Once they’re outside, Buck gives the realtor a smile, and tells her, “I’ll take it.”

_Jeremy’s there, and Buck’s trying to fight him off as they struggle, then the knife suddenly comes into view, and there’s a sound of it going through flesh._

Buck startles awake, quickly turning to look at the stupidly open window, which prompts him to get up, slam it down, then lock it. Much better. Only, as he checks to make sure it’s actually locked, he accidentally backs into a chair in the dining room area of the house, and falls onto the floor, ultimately leaving a hole in the floorboards.

Great.

He reaches in when he sees something in there, but when it moves, he’s startled back again.

Home, sweet home.


	3. Parted Ways

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just an FYI: there's one small scene I wound up adding to the last chapter.

That morning, Buck’s just sitting at his small dining room table drinking coffee, before deciding to go into town to fix the hole.

When he reaches the closest home improvement store, he’s stopped by an adorable kid in crutches, who smiles at him. “Hi.”

Buck, who’s never met a kid he hasn’t liked, smiles back, “Hey.”, before looking around the general area. “Are your parents around?”

The kid shakes his head, “My dad’s an aisle over, but I wanna help. What’re you looking for?”

Buck knows he shouldn’t be talking to a kid without his parents at least nearby, but seeing how all the other store reps are either occupied or nowhere to be seen, he decides to humor him.

“Actually, now that you’re asking, I’m looking for some paint.”

The kid tells him enthusiastically, “This a-aisle shows all the colors they ha-have available.”

Buck feigns surprise, “Oh really? That’s so cool.”

Then the kid asks, “What’re you painting?”

Buck hesitates before answering, “I uh, I’m painting my kitchen floor.”

At this, the kid laughs, “You’re painting the floor?”

Buck swears his heart swells at the sound. He hopes whoever’s lucky enough to call this kid their son knows what a blessing to have a kid that laughs like that really is.

“Why do you think that’s funny?”

The kid speaks slowly, “Be-because nobody paints th-the floor. Why not pu-put a rug on it?”

Buck’s smile gets bigger as he explains calmly, “Well, actually, I’m new to LA, and I’m looking to make my new house more bright and happy. What color would you recommend?”

Buck holds up a few color swatches for the kid to look at, and immediately, the kid says, "Blue!"

Buck lifts an eyebrow at that, "Blue?”

The kid nods enthusiastically, “Yeah. It’s the color Superman’s suit.”

Buck decides he wholeheartedly agrees, “Okay. I think you just helped me in a big way. Thanks, Superman.”

The kid replies, “There’s-there’s some color cards right h-here. I can show you where. I’m Christopher.”

Buck follows Christopher, keeping an eye out for whoever this adorable kid’s father might be, “And I’m Buck.”

As Chris goes to find the desired paint color, Eddie looks over to see the tail end of this exchange, and immediately Eddie walks over, demanding more than asking, “You’re still here?”, 

Buck’s a little startled by this, but just replies, “Yeah...”

Eddie scrambles to cover, “Let me, let me take care of this for you.” and goes to pick up the different color swatches himself.

Once in hand, Eddie quickly apologies, “Sorry, it’s just young guys like you usually don’t last very long. Mostly just biding their time until they get discovered. Usually don’t even last a week before they leave, tail between their legs.”

Hands in his pockets, Buck says nonchalantly, “I like it just fine.”

Chris points out enthusiastically, “There it is!”, right as Buck says, “Thank you so much.”

That throws Eddie, so he has to ask, “You painting something?”

Chris answers for Buck, “Yeah, he’s pa-painting his floor.”

That only clears part of it up, “Okay...”

Buck’s quick to say, “Thanks for the help. Thank you, Christopher.” and walks away.

Immediately, Eddie’s on alert, knowing he’s gonna have to have a serious talk with Christopher about talking to strangers. Just because he works with this guy, doesn’t mean he’s okay with leaving his kid alone with him.

Later, in between calls, Buck’s relaxing in the loft, when he sees a cop walk in, and immediately, he goes to make himself scarce, which unfortunately doesn’t go unnoticed by the other team members.

“You okay, Buck?” Chimney, as he likes to be called, asks.

Quickly, Buck blows it off, “Yeah, I’m great.”, as he listens to the conversation downstairs.

“You wouldn’t by chance know the owner of the car parked haphazardly outside, would you?”

“No, don’t think so.”

“What about your newest recruit?”

“Buck!” comes the call from Bobby downstairs, and Buck jumps, upsetting the plates still on the table. “Got someone who wants to talk to you.”

Shaking, Buck carefully makes his way downstairs, relieved. “Yeah, coming. Sorry to make you wait.”

When Buck finally makes it home, he sees a woman trying to peek in his house’s windows.

“Hello? Are you looking for me?”

The woman startles, turning to look at Buck, “Oh! You scared me. Sorry. Didn’t mean to snoop.”

Buck’s not too sure what to think at that, as she goes on, “I honestly wish I had a good excuse, but I really don’t. I was just curious. You’re the only neighbor I’ve had here in forever.”

At that, Buck’s immediately suspicious. “The realtor told me I wouldn’t have any neighbors at all.”

The woman laughs, “You’re in luck then. By LA’s standards, I’m not close at all.”, then comes down the porch stairs to hold out a hand, “I’m Shannon, by the way.”

Buck doesn’t take it, just says, “Buck.”, and moves to go inside.

Shannon tries again, “Look, I’m out here for the same reason you are. You just want to be left alone. I get if you need to...”

Buck agrees, “Yeah, I really like how I can just think without being interrupted.”

Shannon agrees enthusiastically, “Thank you! It’s nice, isn’t it, to get away from all the talking and noise? It can be nauseating, so it’s just really...nice to meet someone who appreciates that like me.”

Buck starts backing his way up the stairs, so Shannon takes that as his cue, “Well, it’s really nice to meet you.”

Buck says politely, “You too.”

But Shannon’s quick to say, “I’m just down the road if you ever wanna talk. I’m a tough girl, if you’re ever in a fight. Sorry, again, for bothering you.”

Buck stays polite as he says, “It’s okay. Walk safe.”, then finally turns away to go into his house.

Jeremy, meanwhile, is back at the bus station, interrogating the guy at the ticket counter,

“How many stops are there from here to Philadelphia?”

The guy replies, “A few, I suppose. I wouldn’t know all of them.”

“How about an estimate? Down to Philadelphia. What happens in Philadelphia?”

The guy behind the counter asks, “Where do you want to go?”

Jeremy as no patience for this, just asks, “Where exactly can you go from Philadelphia?”

The ticket guy replies, “Anywhere. Philly’s our east coast hub. There’s routes from every city in the country.”

Back at his desk, Jeremy attempts to map out all the possible routes you can take from Philadelphia, but once he sees all the lines fill in, he crumples up the bus map and tosses it, frustrated.

“Shit. My job just got a whole lot harder.”

But then, he sees the grainy picture of Buck in his hoodie at the bus station, and an idea starts to form.


	4. Blue Ain't Your Color

As Buck walks towards the city, who should he bump into but Christopher, out on what looks like his front lawn, only the screen door closed, and upon seeing Buck, smiles and waves.

“Hi, Buck!”

Buck smiles back easily, “Hey, Superman.”

Meanwhile, inside, Athena’s talking to Eddie, in the kitchen, while his abuela’s drinking tea at the table, “You know, you haven’t had Christopher over to play with May and Harry in a while. He’s growing up pretty fast.”

Outside, Buck stops to ask, “What’re you doing?”

Chris tells him, “Coloring.”

Buck moves a little closer, curious, “Oh yeah? What’re you drawing?”

Chris tells him enthusiastically, “Nemo!”

Buck feigns surprise, “You like Nemo too? That’s awesome. He’s my favorite.”

Chris laughs, “My favorite’s Dory.”

Back inside, Athena goes on, “Why don’t we invite everyone over, and you can bring Chris? I know everyone misses him.”

Abuela pipes up, “That would be a wonderful idea, nieto.”

Eddie replies, just wanting to deflect more than anything else, “I’ll think about it, alright?”

Outside, Buck keeps asking, “Is that Bruce the shark?”

Chris responds, “Fish are friends, not food!”

As they share a laugh, Buck turns his head, and catches Eddie’s eye as Eddie’s talking to Athena, Bobby’s wife, before turning away.

Eddie doesn’t move for a second, which doesn’t go unnoticed by Athena, who calls out, “Hello there, Buck.”

Startled, Buck looks sheepish as he replies, “Hey.”

That’s about the extent of that conversation, and when Athena turns back, it’s Eddie that looks sheepish, so she bails them both out by waving to Buck, “I’ll see you around, Mr. Buckley.”

Buck waves back, “See you around.”

With that, Athena walks out the front door past Buck, gets into her car and drives off.

Now that she’s gone, Buck takes this as his cue to walk cautiously towards the screen door to knock, and call out, “Hey.”

At the new voice, Eddie moves closer, and when he sees Buck’s still outside, he says cautiously, “Hey.”

Buck fans out the blue color swatches he bought for himself, then holds one of them up to show him. “I just wanted to tell you I made my choice. Decided to go with Mo Better.”

Not too sure why Buck would think Eddie would care, Eddie decides to ask the other question, “You’re gonna paint your kitchen floor blue?”

Buck doesn’t see what the big deal is, “Sure, why not?”

Eddie pushes, “You’re absolutely sure about that?”

Buck stammers, “Y-yeah. Like Superman’s suit.”

Eddie decides to let him off the hook, “Okay. It’s your house. How much do you think you’ll need?”

Clearly Buck doesn’t know the first thing about paint, because he just shrugs, “I dunno. A gallon?”

But maybe he’s not completely clueless, so Eddie agrees, “Yeah, I think a gallon’s your best bet. If you put in an order now, they should have it ready for you by Tuesday.”

Buck’s face lights up at that, “Great. Thanks.”

Eddie repeats, “Mo Better, huh?”

Buck nods, but clearly that’s not it, so Eddie tries again, “You know, if you want, I can put the order in for you. But I’m still gonna need a name and number for them to reach you when it does come in.”

Honestly, that was more than Buck was hoping for, only hoping to catch Eddie at the fire station to ask for help painting the floors once the paint did come in. But putting in the order for him? As nice as that is, it’s also risky, something Buck knows he can’t afford to be if he wants to stay hidden.

So Buck just says, “My name’s Buck. And no number. I’ll just stop by on Tuesday.”

Eddie knows he should be more suspicious, but from what little he’s seen of Buck at the fire station and at the home improvement store, Buck’s been mostly harmless. And maybe this is just him sensing the real reason Buck came over, but he quickly makes a decision. 

“Okay. As you know, I’m Eddie, so you know where to find me when you get your paint. You’ve met Christopher, this is my abuela. You can find at least one of us here.”

Buck nods as he takes all that in, “Alright. That all?”

Eddie nods, “That’s about it.”

Relieved, Buck just says, “Okay. Good to hear.”, steps off the porch, and walks away.

Once he’s gone, Abuela stands up and asks, “Since when do you offer to help paint someone’s kitchen floor?”

Eddie rolls his eyes, “Since today, apparently.”

As Buck almost reaches the sidewalk, he stops when he sees Chris’ coloring page again, “Wow, that’s looking pretty good there, Superman.”

There’s that million watt smile again, “Th-thank you. You wa-want it?”

Well, if he didn’t love this kid already, he does now. “Really? You sure?”

Chris nods, “Yeah. I wa-want you to remember wha-what Dory says.”

Buck picks it up, and reads the caption, “Just keep swimming. That’s really cool, Chris. I love it. Can I give you a hug?”

When Chris attempts to lift an arm, Buck helps him the rest of the way by lightly wrapping an arm so as not to hurt the kid, “Thank you so much, Christopher. I’ll see you later, okay?”

With that, Buck starts making his way back home, when he hears behind him,

“Hey, Buck! Wait up!”

Buck turns to see Shannon chasing to catch up with him, so he stops, out of politeness more than anything else. “Hi.”

Shannon’s quick to apologize, “I’m sure you just wanna be left alone, but I just happen to be heading back home, so why don’t we just walk together?”

Buck really wants to say no, but he was raised on manners, so he just says, “Sure.”

Shannon sighs in relief. “Good. Now I don’t have to keep peeking in strangers’ windows. That’s a bad habit I really need to break.”

That gets Buck to laugh, as he and Shannon keep heading in the same direction.

Eventually, Shannon asks, “What’s that?”

Buck holds up the paper, “Just a coloring sheet the kid from that house back there drew for me.” He gestures in the general direction of the Diaz house. “The kid with the million watt smile?”

Shannon smiles, “It’s Dory, huh?”

Buck agrees, “Yeah, it’s his favorite character. Wanted to remind me to ‘just keep swimming’.”

But Shannon’s now focused on something else, “God, isn’t the weather amazing?”, pointing away from them. “I love how the light shines on the ocean as it reaches the horizon.”

Once they’re closer, Shannon’s on to something else entirely, “Always wanted to travel, see the world, meet new people. Never even left the US. ”

Buck tries to assure her, “You might someday. You’re young, and still got all the time in the world.”

By then, Buck’s reached his house, so he waves, “Thanks for walking me home.”

Shannon smiles back, “Of course. Thank _you_ for listening. See you later.”, and walks in the opposite direction.


	5. Sleepy Little Town

One day, as they’re wrapping up a call during one of LA’s rare rainy days, Bobby and Buck find a moment to talk.

“So my wife told me you got a chance to spend some time with Eddie and his son.”

Buck smiles at the mention of it, but doesn’t say anything, other than a, “Yeah, guess so.”

But Bobby’s not done, “I’m guessing you heard what happened to his wife?”

Judging by Buck’s surprised look, Bobby can safely assume he has not. “Car accident. About a year or two ago. Hurt Eddie something terrible, especially since she’d only just reappeared back in his life, after walking out on them when Chris was smaller.”

Buck’s heart aches when he hears that, but quickly brushes it off when Bobby moves on, “Looks like the rain’s gonna let up pretty soon. Which means we’re probably gonna start getting a lot more calls.”

With that, Bobby walks away.

Later, when Buck’s leaving the station at the end of his shift, he hears behind him,

“Hey, Buck!”

Buck turns, and watches Eddie catch up to him, telling him, “Your paint came in. I actually have it with me in the car, if you want to grab it now.”

What the hell, not like he has a choice. “Alright.” Buck says reluctantly, following Eddie to his car.

As Eddie pulls the can from the back seat, Buck’s confused when Eddie pulls another one out, until he hears Eddie say,

“Had some spare primer taking up space. Thought maybe you wanted to use that before you painted your floors.”

That clears up the confusion, as well as leaves Buck embarrassed. “Oh, wow. You’re so right. Can’t believe I didn’t think of that.”

Eddie holds up his keys, “I can give you a lift too, if you want.”

Buck immediately declines, “Oh, god, no, you don’t have to do that. I’m more than capable.”

Eddie gives Buck an incredulous look, “You’re actually gonna walk all the way to your house, carrying two paint cans?”

Buck nods, “That was the plan.”

Eddie tries again, “Are you--”

Buck cuts him off before Eddie can object again, “Yes.”, and walks away, now kicking himself for letting Eddie put the order in for him in the first place.

The further away Buck gets, the longer Eddie stares after him, torn between forgetting about it altogether and catching up with Buck and demanding he let Eddie drive him home.

But it looks like Buck’s gonna make that decision for him, as he sets the paint cans down about a block away, curling his fingers to help with the cramping, turns around, and smiles sheepishly.

Smug, Eddie gets in his car and pulls up to where Buck’s waiting, getting the paint cans in the backseat and pointing his car towards Buck’s house.

They don’t really talk, Buck massaging his hands, and Eddie listening to an audiobook.

In an attempt to make polite conversation, Eddie points out, “It’s, uh, Dr. Seuss.”

That makes Buck look up, so Eddie goes on, “Christopher loves him. And it’s not like I can complain. Could be a lot worse, you know? I got other stuff, if you’d rather listen to somethin else.”

Buck shakes his head, “Nah, it’s fine.”

Then they reach Buck’s place, so their conversation’s cut short, both of them getting out and Eddie going to grab for the paint and primer before Buck can, then follows Buck up to the front door.

Buck stops him, “Just leave it on the porch.” 

Eddie tries to assure Buck, “I can bring it in for you.”, and tries to move past Buck.

Buck won’t let him, though, and says more firmly, “No, really. It’s fine. Thank you.”

Taking the hint, Eddie sets the cans down, “Alright. Just gonna leave them right here.”

Then Eddie walks away, tossing a, “See you.”, over his shoulder as he walks back to his car.

Buck grabs the paint cans and starts to carry them inside, but the he hears,

“Oh wait!”

Buck quickly sets the cans down inside, looking back as Eddie holds up a paper bag, explaining, “Got some other stuff I think you might need.”, and tosses it up to where Buck’s standing. “You know, so you can sand it down before you put the primer down--” But that just reminds Eddie he already said that, so he stops himself, “You already know that. I’m gonna go.”

Buck’s quick to say, “Thanks.”, as he finally steps inside the front door, watching Eddie start up his car and pull away.

Closing the door, leaning against it, Buck can’t help but feel a pang of wistfulness.

As Eddie keeps driving, the Dr. Seuss audiotape still going, he feels that same sadness sink in, one he hadn’t felt until he started driving way.

The next day, after Buck’s put the primer down, he starts the actual painting part, with Shannon watching, telling him, “Love the color. Really brightens up the room.”

Buck agrees easily, “Yeah, I like it.”

But apparently Shannon has something else on her mind, as she asks him, “You planning on sticking around for a while?”

Buck pauses his painting to nod, smiling, “Yeah, maybe.”, then goes to dip his brush in the blue paint.

On another part of the city, on his off days, Eddie spends it hammering in his garage, in between looking after Christopher when his abuela can’t or it’s the babysitter’s day off.

Because Buck didn’t really think it through, Buck’s stuck playing The Floor is Lava while the paint dries, having to get creative with how he navigates himself around the kitchen.

Then he’s in bed, reading a book, before finally falling asleep, happy with how the floor turned out.

_ The door bangs open, and Buck’s slamming it shut behind him, out of breath as the knife drops from his hand. _

_ Quickly, he scrambles to grab some clothes and stuff it in a plastic baggie, terrified of getting caught. _

_ When he finally opens the door again, he opens it agonizingly slowly, body in complete fight or flight mode as he becomes hyper aware of his surroundings, walking through the house, ready to defend himself if he’s caught off guard, bag clutched in his hand. _

_ When he reaches the front of the house, he sees Jeremy’s arm, still lying there where Buck left him, and quickly, Buck tiptoes around Jeremy, and the second he’s in the clear, sprints to the back door, and makes his escape into freedom. _

Buck startles awake in a cold sweat, heart pounding, and when he sees a flash of light outside, Buck freezes.

Then when he hears a noise, Buck quickly gets up, scrambling to find the door, then quickly locks it, backing away.

Only to regret it a second later when he realizes he just backed into the kitchen, where the floor’s still not dry.

Damnit.


	6. This is the Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Christopher angst ahead!

The next morning, Buck manages to stick his feet in the bathroom sink to at least try to wash the paint off, then dries them off with a towel.

As he steps outside his house, he sees something he knows for a fact wasn’t there before:

It’s a car. Obviously a used one, but there’s keys in the ignition, along with a card.

Buck wastes no time driving it all the way to the fire station, pissed, and the minute he has it parked, he marches inside to find Eddie.

Eddie’s all friendly as he asks, “Where’d you get your new machine?”

Buck is in no mood to play nice, “Did you leave that outside my house?”

Eddie admits, “What if I did?”

Buck tries to hand him the keys, “I can’t accept it.”

Eddie looks hurt at that, trying to explain, “It was just sitting in my garage taking up space. I don’t mind you using it. Not like I need another car anyway.”

Which helps, but Buck has to tell him, “Look, I really don’t appreciate you showing up in the dark with no warning. I’m sure to you this was just a nice gesture, but really, I can’t accept it.”

Now Eddie’s more upset, “I don’t get it. It’s not that big a deal. It’s just an old car.”

Buck agrees, “I know it is.”

Eddie goes on, “I just see you coming in and out of the station...”

Buck stops him before he can continue, “Look, I didn’t ask for it, and I don’t want it. So...” Buck punctuates that last work by slapping the keys into Eddie’s hand, and turns to go.

Eddie calls, “Look, I’m sorry.” but Buck’s not listening, already moving to the gym.

“You know, when someone does something nice, all you have to say is thank you.”

But Buck still doesn’t stop, which prompts Eddie to stomp off somewhere else, his pretty nice day suddenly turned sour.

That night, Buck’s talking with Shannon at his dinner table.

Shannon’s quick to point out, walking closer to take a look, “Love your curtains.”

But Buck has something else on his mind, “I don’t even know the guy, and he just shows up in the middle of the night to leave something I never even asked for.”

Shannon tries to help him calm down, as she moves behind him, “Look, Buck, I know you managed to find somewhere to live that’s as far away from humanity as possible, but you do realize you’re gonna have to learn that if you’re gonna be a part of a firefighter team, they’re gonna be there for you. Even give you stuff you don’t need. Believe me, there’s no ulterior motives.”

Buck tries to argue, “Well when you put it like that...”

Shannon goes on, “Sometimes that stuff just winds up taking up space in the house.”

Buck tries to get her to see his point, “The last thing I want is to owe this guy, or anyone else, anything I can’t pay back.”

Shannon reminds him, “It’s an old car, not an internal organ.”

Buck thinks about that for a second, then asks reluctantly, “So you’re saying that was a slight overreaction on my part?”

Shannon nods, “Yep. Just a little.”

Buck finally stands up, admitting, “Okay, maybe I did. But just a little.”, as he takes the dishes to the sink.

Behind him, Shannon tells him, “Look, Buck, the thing about life is, it’s loaded with second chances.”

Buck doesn’t reply, but the words stick with him well into the night as he falls asleep.

The next day, when Buck shows up at the station, he finds Eddie in the loft, and slowly approaches, calling out, “Hey, Eddie.”, hands in his pockets.

Eddie turns, and upon seeing Buck, turns back around, not in the mood for more icy reception.

That’s fine, cause Buck’s gonna do all the talking, “So...I realized you’re right.”

Eddie asks, not turning around, “I was? What about?”

Buck replies, “I should’ve just thanked you for the car.”

Eddie still doesn’t turn around, so Buck keeps going, “I’m sorry. I just...I was ridiculously rude.”

Eddie blows it off, “No, no. I should’ve asked first. I don’t even know why I did that.”

Then the alarm goes off, and they’re going out for another job, so Eddie just says, “Promise it won’t happen again.”, as he walks past Buck towards the truck.

As they’re out on the call, Buck can’t help but feel like all the cops at the scene are staring at him, but when that barely acknowledge him with just a polite nod, Buck relaxes again.

He’s all but forgotten about it when he walks along the Santa Monica boardwalk, when who should he see but Eddie with Christopher, standing on the edge of the dock, trying to get a closer look at the water.

In an instant, he sees Chris’ crutches slip from the wet wood, taking Chris with them. 

Before Buck can even fully register what’s happening, Buck’s taking off in a sprint, shouting, “NO!” as he sees Chris hit his head and fall off the pier.

Instantly, Eddie’s screaming, “Christopher!” as he doesn’t even hesitate to jump in after the little boy, and by the time Buck reaches where he was standing, Eddie’s already hit the water.

Somehow, Buck manages to make out a tiny figure flailing his arms in the water as Eddie reaches Christopher, grabbing him carefully so as not to injure him further, and sliding the crutches off to take the weight off his small body.

“You’re gonna be okay, Chris.” Eddie tries to reassure the scared little boy in his arms.

Up above, a crowd starts to gather as they watch, Buck moving his way down to the beach to meet them.

Once they meet the sand, Buck reaches out to take him, and Eddie hands Chris over, if only to make it easier to get them both out of the water.

Buck holds on tightly to the little boy in his arms, whispering reassurances, “It’s okay, Chris. Everything’s okay.”

The second Eddie gets out of the water, he wobbles over to where they’re standing, hands all over Chris as he checks for injuries.

Once the ambulance arrives, and Eddie has Chris checked out, he watches Buck walk away, stealing glances back.

“Buck!”

At that, Buck turns around, waiting.

Eddie almost lets him go, then says, “...Thanks.”, then gestures to Chris, so there’s no mistaking what he means.

Buck smiles, “Of course.”

Then, Eddie tries to be coy, “Did you by chance forget something?”, looking further up the street.

When Buck looks, there’s the car again, waiting for him like he never gave it back.

Eddie says nothing more, picking up Chris and walking back towards their car, as Chris calls out, “Forgot your car!”, laughing.

And because it’s Chris, Buck laughs too, as he walks over to the car, gets in, starts the ignition, and makes the drive home.

Buck decides he likes driving the car home way more than he likes walking.

He even passes by Shannon, who calls out, “I told you it’s not a big deal!”, as Buck drives further away.

In Hershey, Jeremy puts Buck’s picture in the computer, and pulls up photoshop, makes Buck’s hair shorter, then changes it until it’s closer to the shade he saw in the camera still.

Jeremy sips his water contemplatively, as he gets it ready to print.

Then his partner shows up, telling him,

“Listen, Jeremy, I’ve been looking over this case.”

Jeremy cuts him off, “Who asked you to do that? Cause it sure as hell wasn’t me.”

Mike keeps talking, “And it looks like he might be released because his alibi checks out.”

Seeing Mike’s not gonna leave him alone, Jeremy says dismissively, “Lieutenant signed off, and so did the DA. Case closed. Now I’m working on open cases.”

Mike tries to reason, “But he’s got kids. Even if he is innocent...”

Jeremy’s no even listening, “Don’t you have someone at home you need to bother instead?”

Mike starts walking away, but just so he can at his desk.

Jeremy tells him, as he adds the now photoshopped picture to a warrant, “Look, no one’s ever innocent. I don’t care if he did do it. He was there, he knows something. I’m not the judge, jury, or executioner.”

Here, Jeremy types  **Suspect: Murder, First Degree** under the reason for issuance.

“I just bring the guy in, let everyone else handle the rest.”

With that, he clicks submit.

If this doesn’t bring Buck out of hiding, nothing will.


	7. Wrap Your Arms Around Me

The next day, Eddie’s on the phone with Athena as he packs up his car.

“The crowds always get bigger every year, and every damn year you keep nagging me we need to make the show smaller. Exactly how much smaller am I supposed to make it before there’s not a show at all?”

Athena, on her end, moves to the wanted poster board, telling Eddie, “I’m not nagging, and you know it. This is me respecting the fact that you have a limited state license for fireworks, while doing my job as a cop to make sure no one gets hurt. There’s the possibility it’s going to be even bigger than the last two years, so we need to take them all into account.”

Athena hangs the newest person of interest flier, with Buck’s face on it, without looking at it, as she walks back to her desk.

“Or do I need to give you the lecture on firework safety again?”

Eddie looks horrified at that, begging, “Please, no. I’ve heard the lecture so many times I practically have it memorized.”

Athena tells him, “No, this one’s been updated. But that’s not even my point, Edmundo.”

Then Chris comes out of the house with his new crutches, asking, “When are we going, daddy?”

Eddie tells Athena, “Hold on.” then turns to Chris, “We’ll get going soon enough.”

Then he turns back to his phone, “Look, I’ll come in to take a look sometime later in this week.”

Wouldn’t you know it, that’s right when Buck pulls up, and don’t think Chris doesn’t notice.

“Bucky!” he calls out, moving his crutches as fast as he can.

Eddie watches him the whole time, phone still to his ear.

Quickly, Buck stops the car, rolling the window down, “Hey, Superman. What’s up?”

Chris asks him, “Can you, can you come to the beach with us?”

Eddie has to call out, “Chris, he isn’t...” then changes tactics. “We’re heading to the beach.” Eddie adds apologetically, phone still to his ear.

Buck calls back, “Yeah, I can see that.”

Chris turns around to tell his dad, “I need Bucky to come with us!”

That gets some lighthearted laughter out of both Buck and Eddie, before Eddie has to tell Chris, “Chris, I’m sorry, but Buck’s not coming with us today.”

Chris pouts adorably, “But I want him to!”

Buck agrees, “Actually, I wouldn’t mind. That sounds really good.”

Eddie asks, surprised, “You serious?”

Buck nods, “Yeah.”, then turns to Chris, “Whaddaya say, Superman?”

Seeing he’s outnumbered, Eddie caves, “Alright. Okay.”

Still on the phone, Athena says, “ _Eddie?_ ”, which prompts Eddie to turn back to the phone,

“Look, I gotta go.”

Athena tries to protest, “ _Eddie, don’t you dare hang up on me--_ ”

Which is exactly what Eddie does, and once the car’s packed, they walk to the nearest swimsuit store for some trunks.

Buck flips through the racks with Chris inside, while Eddie, never taking his eyes off of either of them, is on the phone with Chimney about this new development.

“ _And you’re okay with this?_ ”

The question surprises Eddie, “With what?”

“ _With Buck joining you and Chris at the beach?_ ”

Eddie has to think on that, “Um...yeah, I guess. Why, do you think he shouldn’t?”

“ _And you don’t think it won’t be awkward at all?_ ”

Eddie snorts at that, but doesn’t reply.

When they finally get to the beach, first thing Eddie does is spray everyone down with sunscreen, taking extra care with Chris and his sensitive skin.

He even gets a spray in Buck’s face, who winces even as he laughs.

Once that’s done, Eddie announces, “Alright, let’s get a picture.”

Eddie tries to point the camera at Chris, but he’s too excited to hold still, pushing his sand walker closer to the water.

Thankfully Buck takes pity on him, grabbing Chris gently and picking him up, and turning Chris around for the shot.

“Alright, one with two of you works.”

Later, Eddie snaps another one when Buck and Chris are munching on snacks. Buck even tries making a goofy face with his food, which succeeds in getting Chris to laugh.

Then, Eddie hands the camera to some kids walking nearby, so he can get a picture of all of them.

Once the camera’s ready, Eddie plants himself right in the middle, and counts down the timer.

“1...2...3.”

But once he sees Chris had something in his mouth, Eddie grabs it, stealing it for himself, much to Chris’ protest.

Pictures done, they all finally get in the water, Buck diving in, with Eddie holding Chris carefully as the cold water comes up to their ankles.

Then when a small wave comes in, Buck takes advantage and rides it back to shore, and once he has Chris back on his sand walker, Eddie grabs his camera to take another picture of Buck soaking wet.

Upon seeing this, Buck has to laugh, and gives a more genuine smile.

Eddie even manages to catch a fish, and Buck’s right there with the camera to snap a picture of that too.

Except, “Oh no, the battery’s almost dead.”, and Buck quickly moves to replace the batteries.

Unfortunately he’s not fast enough, as once he has the new batteries in, the fish has already flopped back into the water.

Later, when Eddie and Buck are both keeping an eye on Chris as he uses his sand walker, Buck asks,

“Does Chris ever test you at all?”

Eddie’s quick to reply, “You kidding? I feel like there’s never a time when he’s not.”

Buck tries to assure him, “Probably just a phase. He’s gotta grow out of it sometime, right? I’ve seen the way he keeps you on your toes.”

Eddie says honestly, “Chris still remembers his mom, but because she walked out, that’s due to me filling in the blanks where I could. Not the same as actually having her here, or remembering something himself, you know?”

Buck doesn’t say anything, just tries to not notice how Eddie’s inching closer as he asks, “You ever talked to him about it?”

Again, Eddie opts for honesty, “I don’t even know what I can say.”

Then Chris decides he wants to build a sandcastle, and Buck to help him, so Buck quickly gets up to help set everything up.

“Looking good, Superman.” Buck compliments the mounds of sand that make up Chris’ castle.

They don’t say anything after that, content to just build in silence.

Then, when he and Eddie are watching Chris again, Buck drawing pictures in the sand, Eddie asks him, "So why did you pick LA?"

Buck wipes the picture away, as he explains, "I always saw it like this. Blank canvas, and I can be whoever I want to be."

Eddie nods in understanding, "So you're starting from scratch?"

Buck thinks on it, then agrees, "Yeah, basically. Guess I just wanted a change. Always wanted to live in a big city."

Eddie tells him, "Well, you got one."

Buck agrees, "Yep, pretty damn big from where I'm standing."

That makes them both chuckle, as Buck notes, "But I often find it's pretty sleepy too. You know, grass is always greener."

Eddie tells him, "Yeah, but it's still got it's highlights. You'll definitely like it."

Then Eddie turns to Buck, "Are you actually gonna stay, or are you passing through, or what?"

Buck decides to go with a nonanswer, "Lot of questions."

Eddie tried to defend himself, "Only curious."

Buck deflects by turning it around, "How about you? You from LA?"

Eddie tells him easily, "I'm from El Paso. Came here not long after Shannon walked out the first time. I was in the army for a while, barely made it to see my son born. Finally it just became too much for her, and she used her mom being sick as an excuse. Though my parents tried to get me to reconsider, I decided we both needed the change of scenery, and the 118 became our adopted family. And Bobby, our captain?"

Buck nods, "Yeah?"

"Let us bunk with him till I got us our house. Seemed like a mansion to us."

Buck smiles, and turns when he hears Chris calling out, laughing when he watches Chris demolish the castle with one of his crutches.

"1...2...3!" Buck calls out at the end, getting a shot of Eddie and Chris together.

Then, on a whim, "Now let's all copy Chris's goofy face."

That has everyone bursting with laughter, and the entire drive back to Bucks place, he spends the time pointing out things they see on the drive back.

When Eddie stops in the driveway, he says slowly, "Well, here we go."

Buck looks in the backseat, smiling when he sees Chris fast asleep.

When Eddie catches his eye, he tells Buck sincerely, "Thanks for coming with us."

Buck undoes his seatbelt, telling him, "Thanks for having me. I had fun."

As Buck gets out and closes the door, he bids them a, "Have a good rest of your night."

That would be it, except on impulse, Eddie calls out, "Hey wait. I forgot to ask."

When Buck turns around again, Eddie asks, "How did the floors come out?"

Buck lifts an eyebrow, and on impulse, he asks, "Wanna see for yourself?"

Eddie takes one more look in the backseat, to make sure Chris is actually asleep, then nods, "I can do that.", and gets out of the car, making sure the windows cracked, the car locked.

Once they're in the kitchen, Eddie runs a hand over the blue floor.

"I wasn't too sure about this shade of blue, but it turned out really nice."

Buck smiles, "Thanks. If it wasn't for the primer and Chris' good taste in paint color…"

Eddie makes some noise in agreement, then walks to the wall, "You know, I think your walls need a little…"

And is abruptly cut off when his foot falls on the same floorboard Buck did, knocking him flat on his ass.

This prompts them both to start slaughter in shock, as Buck tries to ask through his snickering,

"Jesus, are you okay?"

Then giving up, sitting next to Eddie as he tries to apologise, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't be laughing. Are you okay?"

That just makes Eddie laugh even louder, to where it reaches Chris' ears, making him stir slightly, only to settle again. 

Buck tries to apologize again, "I really should've told you about that."

Eddie picks up the floorboard, "I just made a giant hole in your kitchen floor."

Buck waves off his concern, "The floor was already there. Trust me, you're okay."

But that's not enough for Eddie, "I can fix this for you. Got a hammer and nails in my truck."

Buck tries to turn him down, "No you're fine, it's fine."

Eddie tries to reason with Buck, "It would just take two minutes. You really don't what a giant hole in your floor."

Buck tries again, "Eddie you don't…"

Seeing Bucks not budging, Eddie yields. "Okay, fine. But the offer still stands."

That settled, Buck reaches out a hand, "Put her there."

Eddie takes it thankfully, and once they're both vertical, it's just a little awkward as they stand there for a moment.

Finally, they both talk at the same time, "So…" "Yeah."

Then Eddie opts out, "I'm gonna go."

Once Eddie's back in the car, Buck walks up to the window, where Chris is sitting, half asleep, and whispers,

"Bye Superman. I had fun."

Eddie looks back, whispering, "You're supposed to say bye back."

Buck quickly assures him, "It's fine. I think the beach wore him out."

That gets Eddie to relax, as Buck tells him, "Thank you again, really. I had fun."

Eddie blushes a little, "Anytime. I think he had more fun with you than me."

Chris isn't so far out of it that he doesn't see Buck's hand on Eddie's arm as he says, 

"Bye. Drive safe.", before finally walking back to his house.

Back in Hershey, Jeremy's car sits outside the house of a woman he's already interrogated, and before he can think better of it, he gets out of the car.

"Excuse me, ma'am?"

The woman turns, and upon seeing Jeremy, immediately moves to go inside.

"Can I just come in for a moment? I want to talk to you."

The woman tries to brush him off, "Actually, this really isn't a good time. My husband needs me to help him take his medication." Here, she calls inside, "I'll be right there!"

Jeremy's all friendly as he says, "I'm so sorry to bother you, I just wanted to ask a few more questions."

The woman says firmly, "I already answered all your questions about him the last time. I don't know what else you want me to tell you."

Jeremy's determined to not walk away empty handed, "I just wanted a moment of your time…"

But it appears he's still gonna walk away empty handed, as she finally gets inside, closing the door firmly, locking the door behind her.

Jeremy's not too sure why he keeps coming back to this house, but he just knows this woman knows something about Buck.

But to show he's a good guy, he just walks away.

The woman that helped hide Buck watches Jeremy leave from her window, saying nothing.


	8. Heart's Content

Buck’s just walking along the boardwalk, when he hears someone call out,

“Hey, Buck!”

Buck stops to look, and sure enough Bobby’s standing close to the edge with a fishing pole, offering, “Come give it a shot.”

Buck considers it, before shaking his head, “I uh, don’t really know anything about fishing.”

Bobby pushes, “Come on, you can do it. It’s a 118 tradition.”

Buck hesitates for another second, then gives in, “Alright, I’ll give it a go. Show me what to do.”

Bobby hands him the pole, “You just cast the line with some bait, and wait for a fish to bite.”

Buck looks a little taken aback by this, “I just cast a line, huh?”

Bobby quickly points out, “Look, I think I see one now. Give it a whirl.”

Buck holds off, then just casts the line out, careful to not hit anyone.

Within seconds, there’s a pull on the line.

“Oh wow. I got one!”

The next day, Buck drops something packed in newspaper over to Eddie’s house, and unwraps it.

Naturally, Eddie’s confused. “What’s this for?”

Buck explains, clearly proud of himself. “This right here is what you call a gift.”

Seeing he has Eddie’s attention, Buck goes on, “This is a thank you gift.”

Now Eddie doesn’t know whether to be confused or surprises, “A what..did you actually catch this?”

Buck nods, “Yeah, I did.”

Eddie holds it up by the tail, which prompts Buck to wrinkle his nose, “That’s disgusting.”

At that, Eddie sets it back down. “But you know I can’t accept this. You really need to stop being so nice to me.”

Buck parrots Eddie’s own words back at him, “I could do that. Or, and I’m just spitballing here, you could just say thank you.”

Eddie picks up on it immediately, and concedes, “Okay, you’re right. Thank you, for this...thank you fish.”, and wraps the fish back up.

As Buck snickers, Eddie tells him, “Let’s get this in the fridge.”

As they’re walking to the kitchen, Chris stops them, asking, “Did Carla leave already?”

Eddie apologizes, “Yeah, but don’t worry, bud. I’ll drive you over.”

Buck calls out, “Hey, Superman.”

Chris greets him, “Hey.”, then turns back to Eddie. “Can I have a snack?”

Eddie scans the kitchen, then tells Chris, “I’ll grab some apple slices.”

Seeing how busy Eddie is, Buck tells him, “You’ll have to tell me how the fish turns out.”

Eddie turns his head to reply, “Oh I’m sure it’s gonna be great. We’ll probably even grill it tonight.”

Buck nods, watching Eddie slice up an apple, “I actually have no idea how to grill a fish, but is it safe to say you do?”

Eddie replies, “It’s actually really easy. I like to go out fishing on a rental boat. You ever go fishing on a rental boat?”

Buck almost replies, but is interrupted when Chris calls, “Daaaaaaddy.”

Rolling his eyes in affection, Eddie brings the plate of apple slices over to the table, looking at Buck as he says,

“It’s not particularly exciting, but when the skies are clear, it’s beautiful.”

Apparently Chris was listening in, because he whines, “Just ask him, Daddy.”

Eddie sighs, “Would you wanna come out on a rental boat with me?”

Buck, who hasn’t stopped smiling since he heard Chris speak up, replies, “Yes, I’d love to.”

Eddie looks surprised, “Really? You would?”

Buck nods again, “Yeah.”

Knowing he shouldn’t press his luck, but unable to think of a reason why not, he asks, “How about tomorrow?”

Buck agrees, “Tomorrow sounds great.”

“We should be back by about 7 or 8. Plenty of food for everyone. As you know, Chris will tell you if he doesn’t like something.”

Bobby tells him as he helps pack up the fishing gear, “You know it’s going to rain, right?”

That’s news to Eddie, “What? No it’s not. I checked the weather forecast. There’s only a 7 percent chance of rain.”

Bobby tells him, “Well it’s wrong then.”

Eddie argues, “I think they know what they’re talking about. They’re the ones with the weather instruments, after all. Your wife’s bad arm does not a weather person make. It’s not gonna rain.”

Bobby tries to argue, “My wife’s bad arm is right nine times out of ten. Who needs weather instruments?”

Eddie rolls his eyes, “No, it’s not.”, as he heads inside for the rest of the supplies.

Later, they’re out on the boat, content to just look out as the boat moves along the water.

Buck immediately falls in love with it, looking at the fish swimming just under the surface, up at the birds chasing the boat.

“This is...beautiful.” Buck finally says, breaking the silence.

Eddie’s quick to agree, “Yeah, it is. Probably my favorite spot in the whole world.”

Buck smiles, noticing the slightly wistful look in Eddie’s eyes, which makes him feel comfortable enough to ask, “Did you do this with your wife too? In El Paso?”

If Eddie’s offended by the question, he doesn’t show it, just answers honestly, “Yeah, in the early years.”

That makes Buck bolder, following up his question with, “Has it gotten easier at all?”

Eddie absently runs a hand through his hair, as he admits, “Yesh, it does. At first I tried to avoid everything that reminded me of her, and what I lost. I tried to remind myself of how it all fell apart, said it was for the best when I decided to not give our relationship another try. Just keep swimming, right?”

Buck has to smile, loving the fact that Chris’ favorite quote has double meaning between the two of them.

“But as always, it all just caught up with me. And I realized that if I don’t remember the good times along with the bad, who else will? Despite how it all went down, she doesn’t deserve to be forgotten. She wasn’t just my wife, or Chris’ mom. She was someone’s daughter, and a person with hopes and dreams just like everyone else. There was a time when I really did love her, and I think it’s important Chris knows that. I want him to know what she was like in the early years.”

Buck keeps listening, both touched and saddened by Eddie’s story.

“So...” Eddie moves to another part of the boat, clearly a little uncomfortable now. “We just keep our heads down, and I get to be both Chris’ mom and his dad, which is...fun.”

Buck chuckles at the way Eddie says that, but doesn’t call him on it.

“Just trying to keep us together, honestly.” Here, Eddie turns to look at Buck, as he tells him,

“But today, out here with you, I think this is the first time I actually bothered looking up.”

Buck has to look away, suddenly self conscious about how Eddie’s looking at him, and deflects, “Well, today’s been pretty perfect.”

Then Buck looks up, noting, “Did you feel that?”

Eddie looks up too, almost positive he did, but he quickly tries to deny it, not wanting to admit Bobby was right, “No, not at all.”

It’s a very drenched Buck and Eddie that finally get off the boat, dragging their supplies off in the pouring rain.

“Just a sprinkle.” Eddie tries to assure Buck, but neither of them are buying it, cracking up. “It should pass in no time.”

Then Eddie points to the boathouse, “Let’s hole up inside.”, grabbing Buck’s arm to lead him over to it.

Once they’re under the roof, they hear the rumble of thunder, so Eddie points, “It’s way off in the distance. There’s no way it’ll hit us.”

Buck, however, is a little nervous, “You heard that, right?”

As if to prove Buck’s point, they hear the thunder crackle again, so Eddie wisely changes tactics,

“Okay, I got a better idea. You hungry?”

Buck’s still laughing nervously as he nods, “Yeah. Starving actually.”

Eddie needs no further invitation, leading Buck off away from the boathouse, as they both run through the rain, before Eddie actually squats down, and Buck accepts, climbing onto Eddie’s back as they move together.

Eventually, they reach a coffee house, and the second they’re inside, Eddie greets the rest of the patrons, while Buck gestures to the table right next to them.

“How about we just sit right here?”

Eddie takes his own seat, wondering out loud, “Is it seat ourselves?”

For the moment, both Buck and Eddie just take some napkins from the holder, wiping their faces dry as they try not to laugh, before Eddie tells Buck,

“I called Athena. I’m hoping she’ll be picking us up on her way back from the station, but she’s not answering her phone.”

Buck doesn’t see that as much of a problem, “Oh well. What’s the rush anyway?” then backpedals slightly, “I mean, I’m okay right here.”

Eddie’s surprised, “Really?”

Buck nods, “Mm-hm.”

The entire time they wait goes by surprisingly fast, talking and eating as Buck tells him about the book he’s currently reading.

“It’s really interesting. It’s literally the whole book. ”

Eddie wonders, “I was always curious about gorillas. Aren’t they the strongest animals on the planet?”

Buck corrects him, “Actually they’re primates.”

Eddie nods in agreement, “You’re right. Primates.”

“Don’t even eat meat.”

“Exactly, it’s all just fruits and veggies. Mostly kale.”

Buck has to speak up here, “Hey, kale is fantastic.”

Eddie’s skeptical, “Is there even any protein in it?”

Buck tells him, “There’s gotta be.”

Eddie pulls the conversation back, “Where is all that strength coming from? I’m almost positive it’s genetic.”

This goes on for a while, before Eddie finally notices they’re the only two people left in the coffee house.

“I’m guessing Athena’s gonna stop by any second. I should go settle the check.” Eddie looks around, noting, “Wow. Place cleared out pretty fast.”

Then Eddie gets up, telling Buck, “I’m gonna go see if I can find someone.”

Buck’s quick to tell him, “Thank you, by the way.”

When Eddie doesn’t see anyone behind the counter, he calls out, “Hello?”

There’s no response, other than a radio playing an old song that someone left on.

Buck gets up to follow, noting, “That’s a really nice song.”

Eddie listens for a moment, then on impulse, holds out a hand in invitation.

Maybe it’s because the day’s already been so perfect, but Buck finds that taking Eddie’s hand, letting him pull him in for a dance is the easiest decision to make.

They lead each other throughout the coffee house, Buck a little clumsier, but he’s quick to laugh it off, and thankfully Eddie’s a good sport about it.

Who knows how long they would’ve kept that up, if Eddie hadn’t suddenly leaned in, Buck reciprocating, if they hadn’t heard the police sirens outside, headlights nearly blinding them.


	9. Joanna

Buck looks a little freaked out, but Eddie’s quick to tell him, “Relax. It’s just Athena.”

Buck still can’t completely relax, so Eddie tries to pull him out of it.

“Hey, come on. She’s my friend.”

Buck’s still skeptical, but Eddie looks like he’s sure, so Buck decides to trust him.

Buck sits in the back, where the prisoners usually sit, while Eddie and Athena talk about whether the fireworks show will be cancelled or not.

Meanwhile, Buck can’t help but feel a little freaked out by the fact that he’s in the back of a police car, and actually not being arrested. It only serves to remind him how easily a cop that isn’t Eddie’s friend could’ve been the one to find them, and not be as nice either.

Maybe Eddie senses some of this uneasiness, because as he keeps talking to Athena, he also looks at Buck, holding out a hand to Buck, who after a moment, takes it gratefully, as Eddie strokes Buck’s hand with his thumb.

Finally, they make it to Buck’s house, and Athena gets out first, opening the back door.

“Alright, you hooligans get outta my cruiser before I arrest you for real.”

As Buck gets out, Athena notes, “Pretty isolated out here for one man, don’t you think?”

Buck waves off her concern, “I got neighbors. They’re not too far away.”

Athena looks like she wants to push for more, but from Eddie’s small gesture, can tell when someone’s giving her the boot, so she walks back to her side, telling him

“Nice to finally meet you, Buck.”, then get in.

Now that they’re technically alone, it’s a little awkward, so Buck goes first, “Alright then.”

Eddie agrees, “Alright.”

Buck starts towards the house, with a, “Thank you for tonight.”

But Eddie has other ideas, as he grabs Buck’s arm, pulling him back, “C’mere.”, and pulls him away from the cruiser.

Nothing happens for a moment, but then, suddenly, Eddie’s grabbing Buck’s head and pulling him in for a kiss, as Buck leans against a tree for balance.

Who knows how long the kiss actually lasts, but before Buck knows what’s happening, he’s pushing Eddie away, and walking back to the house, smiling the whole way.

Dazed, Eddie gets back in the cruiser, next to Athena this time.

Athena flashes Eddie a knowing look, but before she can say anything, Eddie points a finger, ordering,

“Not a word.”

No need to tell her twice, Athena just shakes her head and starts the car, and makes the drive all the way back to Eddie’s house.

The second he walks in the door, who should he find but Christopher, asking worriedly,

“Where were you?”

At that, Eddie glares at Bobby, who’s sitting on the couch. “Why is he still up?”

But before Bobby can say anything, Eddie’s already moving to Chris’ room, as Chris asks again,

“Where were you?”

Eddie’s completely apologetic , “I’m so sorry I’m late, buddy. I...I got caught in a freak rainstorm, and I never would’ve been out this late if I hadn’t been, okay?”

Chris is laying down, as he tells Eddie sadly, “You weren’t here to say goodnight.”

Eddie’s heart breaks, as he says, “I know. But I’m here now. I can say goodnight now.”

Chris thinks that over, then agrees, “Okay. I missed you, Daddy.”

Eddie has no problem replying, “I missed you too.”

Chris keeps it up, “I missed you more.”

Eddie plays along, “Nuh uh. No way, little man.”

Chris playfully argues, “Yes way.”

Eddie has to laugh at that, then kisses his kid on the forehead, telling Chris,

“G’night, buddy.”

Back at Buck’s house, Buck’s just laying in bed, staring at the ceiling, not sleeping as he thinks over the entire day, from the awesome start all the way to the surprise police escort.

As Eddie gets to bed himself, he’s not sleeping either, thinking about not just the day, but what it could mean for both him and Chris.

Then, before he knows what he’s doing, he’s walking out to the front porch, then into the garage, turning on the light and climbing the stairs to the apartment.

Unbeknownst to him, a certain someone grabbed his crutches and followed his dad outside.

Eddie goes straight for the trunk, opening the lid and taking out the letters stashed in it.

All of them are labeled for specific points on Chris’ life.

_To Chris on his 18th_ _birthday_

_ To Chris on his wedding day _

_ To Chris on his graduation day _

Here, Eddie has to stop himself, because he’s not too sure if he’s really ready to do this. But Shannon, bless her heart, had prepared for everything, because that’s who she was.

She wasn’t even sick when she wrote these, but she insisted on writing them anyway, insisting the future is never set in stone, and in the event something happened to her, she wanted to know her son would hear what she wanted to say one way or another.

Eddie doesn’t think he’ll ever stop being thankful she did that, not when she’d turned out to be right.

“What’re you doing, Daddy?”

The call is unexpected, especially since Chris is supposed to be in bed.

“That’s Mommy’s clubhouse.”

Quickly, Eddie puts the letters back where he found them, calling back, “I’ll be right down. Hang on.”

Once Eddie comes down the stairs, Chris informs him, “We’re not supposed to go up there.”

Eddie walks right up to Chris, crouching down as he tells him, “I know. I know we’re not supposed to go up there. And it’ll always be Mommy’s clubhouse.”

Chris looks like he really wants to say something, but Eddie’s to smart for that.

“Hey, hey.” Eddie reaches out a hand ro rest on Chris’ neck. “I’m doing the best I can, okay?”

Now Chris does say something, “But it’s Mommy’s clubhouse.”

Eddie agrees, “I know it’s Mommy’s clubhouse.”, but that’s not enough for Chris, who pulls away and starts back towards the house.

The next day, Buck can’t stop himself from having flashbacks to that night as he makes himself busy at the station.

_ The electric razor he bought buzzes away as he shaves off most of his hair, then dies as the woman who was nice enough to let him in watches. _

_ Once it’s all finished, Buck wraps her up in a hug, “Thank you, for everything.” _

_ The woman brushes it off, “No problem.”, then hands Buck a package. “Something to help you get started. Call me once you’re safe.” _

And that thought has Buck running for the nearest phone, and when he gets the answering machine, leaves a message,

“Hi, it’s me. I know, I should’ve called a while ago, but I wanted to tell you...” he pauses, not too sure if it’s actually true, but then says, “I finally made it somewhere safe.”

Then he promptly hangs up, smiling as he gets back to work.

Back in Hershey, Jeremy’s just waking up with the new morning, slightly disoriented as he walks towards the kitchen, right past the bloody stain on the hardwood floor as he steps on a piece of paper, discarding it on the counter.

But then, on impulse, he grabs it to look at it again.

It’s a recipe for Peach pie, in a neat handwriting he doesn’t recognize.

He takes it outside, and he can’t help but see the woman he’s interrogated twice already, putting something in her mailbox.

Sure he’s right, he marches right over to her house again, not even bothering to ask this time, yanking the mailbox open and comparing the handwriting on both, along with seeing the name.

Sure enough, they’re a match.

Pissed, Jeremy walks right up to the window, slapping the paper up on it, knowing she’s there when she shrieks.

“This is yours, isn’t it? And that would mean you lied to me, Mrs. Vandermark. You said you didn’t know her, but that’s not ringing true anymore. Now just open the door, so we can have that little talk I said I’d be back for.”

To her credit, Mrs. Vandermark doesn’t, instead says, “Show me the warrant, and I’ll gladly open the door.”

Now he’s even more pissed, but there’s nothing he can do about that legally, so he just tells her,

“Don’t go anywhere. I’ll be back with that warrant.”

With that, Jeremy marches off, glad to be finally getting somewhere.


	10. No Nostalgia on the Violin

As Buck’s cleaning up the table in the loft, Eddie walks up to him, joking,

“May I please speak to the chef?”

Buck looks up, an awkward smile on his face as he almost says something, but before he can, Eddie walks up and plants a kiss right on his mouth.

In fact, the kiss goes on long enough to where the rest of the team catches them, and Buck flinches, then laughs when he hears the whistles.

Eddie’s quick to assure him, “I don’t want to get you in trouble as the probie. I just came by to see you because...”

Then before Buck can blink, Eddie’s kissing him again, and Buck’s laughing again, and finally Eddie pulls away first.

“Okay, I gotta go. You should know better than to mess around on the clock.”

As Eddie walks away, Buck follows him with his gaze, laughing, as he hears,

“See you tonight!”

Buck gives himself a private cheer, excited at the prospects of the upcoming night.

“It’s just, with all the talking we did last night, I haven’t had real fun like that in a while.”

Buck tells Shannon, as they walk to the farmer’s market.

“And just think, it all started with a beat up old car.”

Buck reminds her, “I thought you said that was just him being nice because I’m a member of the 118.”   
Shannon shakes her head, “I lied. That was him putting the moves on you.”

Buck’s flabbergasted, spluttering, “What?”

Shannon quickly explains, “Some people just need a push in the right direction. Something told me you wouldn’t go there on your own, not willingly at least.”

As they reach the entrance, Buck shoots her look, “You are so lucky it worked the way it did, otherwise I’d be way more mad than I am at you.”

Then he asks, “You want something?”

Shannon shakes her head, “Nah, I’m fine.”

Later that night, Buck and Eddie are eating seafood, getting their hands all messy in the process, but miraculously still manage to have a good time.

Once they’re parked in Buck’s driveway, they just sit there with their seat belts unbuckled, before Eddie leans in to kiss Buck, who returns it just as enthusiastically.

It’s obvious there’s only one way this can end, so Buck goes for a subtle approach.

“So...I actually got around to fixing the hole in my kitchen floor.”

Eddie lifts an eyebrow, “Yeah?”

Buck nods, “Yeah. If you wanna come see it for yourself...”

Eddie’s well read on this game as well, so he quickly says, “Yes.”

Buck asks, hopeful, “Really?”

Eddie replies, “Really.”

With that, they both open their car doors, and quickly make their way into the house.

Once inside, they stand right on the spot where Buck fixed the floor, Buck with his hands on Eddie’s neck as they lean in to kiss again.

Buck doesn’t know if he’ll ever be able to show Eddie how much trusting him enough to let him inside his home like this means to him, but for however long he has Eddie here, he’s not going to waste a second of it.

Something Eddie’s already on board with, even if he doesn’t know the full story, as his shirt easily slips off his shoulders, and as one thing leads to another, they find themselves on Buck’s bed, holding each other close, suddenly painfully aware of how close and exposed they are.

But Eddie never takes his eyes off of Buck as they’re in bed together, knowing with a certainty he hasn’t felt since before Shannon died that there’s no one he’d rather be with right now than Evan Buckley.

As Buck lays there, staring at the ceiling, he can’t help but remember the last time he was this close to someone, the last time he trusted someone to see this side of him. And how badly that ended.

But that’s all behind him now, Buck mentally shakes himself, as he kisses Eddie back hard, as Eddie’s hands are suddenly carding through his short hair.

Afterwards, they’re just looking at each other, holding hands, before Buck suddenly gets bold and kisses Eddie first.

Yep, this was definitely a perfect day.

The next day, Eddie’s at the police station talking to Athena about the fireworks again.

“These don’t cost nearly as much. They’re in the traditional red white and blue. Everyone will love them. See for yourself.”

Eddie hands Athena the fireworks catalogue, only to catch something in the corner of his eye.

He moves closer to see the picture that he swears looks a lot like Buck.

But it can’t be. That’s what Eddie tells himself as he moves closer, along with the unmistakable words

**_Person of Interest_ **

**_Suspect: Murder_ **

That’s all Eddie can read, as it’s covered by newer fliers, so he rips it right off the corkboard.

When Athena still hasn’t returned, he calls out, voice dangerously calm,

“Hey, Athena. I gotta go take care of something back home. I’ll be right back.”

With that, Eddie takes off like a bat out of hell.

This better not be what it fucking looks like.


	11. Fool in the Rain

In Hershey, right as Jeremy shows up for his shift, he hears behind him.

“Jeremy!”

Jeremy turns, and it’s his chief. And he’s clearly not happy. 

“In my office.”

Jeremy tries to excuse himself, “Look, Chief, I’m really in the middle of something, and I--”

“Now!” The word leaves no room for argument, and Jeremy knows it.

Resigned, Jeremy follows the chief to his office.

Buck’s just finishing polishing the ambulance, bidding the other probies goodnight, when he hears behind him.

“Evan?”

On instinct, he turns around, and finding Eddie standing there is about the last thing he was expecting to see.

Eddie scoffs, “Please tell me this is some kind of elaborate prank. What the hell is going on?”

Eddie holds up the Person of Interest flier, and Buck can easily tell him,

“I have no idea.”

“You have no idea? Let me read you the highlights. Special bulletin. Person of interest. Suspect: murder. First degree. Evan Buckley?”

Buck can’t take another second of this, and marches right up to take the flier right out of Eddie’s hand, hands shaking as he gets a closer look.

“Who did you kill?”

Buck’s quick to shake his head, “Eddie, you have to believe me when I say this isn’t what you think.”

That just makes Eddie angrier, “Why don’t you fill me in on what I’m supposed to think? Because what I’m seeing is your picture, on a wanted poster, calling you a murder suspect.”

Buck knows answering that would be pointless, seeing how angry Eddie already is.

That’s fine with Eddie, as he goes on, “Your name really is Evan, isn’t it?”

Buck just nods, knowing better than to lie right now, but Eddie’s still turning away.

“Evan.” he repeats.

Buck begs him, “Eddie, please, just let me explain.”

Eddie accuses him angrily, “I trusted you. I let you become a part of my life, my kid’s life. Jesus, I trusted you with. My. Kid. My wonderful kid, who trusted you. Exactly how the hell am I supposed to explain this to him?”

Now Buck gets bolder, as he replies, “Tell him I was an idiot. That I was the biggest idiot on the planet that got involved with a really bad guy.”

Eddie’s not impressed, “Why should I believe that, after everything?”

Buck blurts out, desperate now, “He hurt me.”

Eddie’s not listening, “Why should I believe anything that comes out of your mouth? I apparently don’t even know your first name.”

“I’m sorry.” Buck tries, tears threatening to fall. “I’m sorry I never told you. You have to believe me when I say I’d never hurt anyone.”

“Get the hell out of here, Evan.” Eddie orders, voice leaving no room for argument.

“Especially not you or Chris.”

At that, Buck suddenly feels himself shoved against an ambulance, as Eddie towers over him, finger pointed right in his face.

“Don’t ever say his name again. Get the hell out of here, before I call Athena and have you arrested. Consider it the last thing I ever do for you.”

Then Eddie walks away, letting the paper fall out of his hand, leaving Buck still standing there, crushed.

In Hershey, Jeremy sits in the chair across from his boss’ desk, asking politely,

“What’s going on, boss?”

The chief wastes no time pulling out the same person of interest flier, tossing it on his desk.

“Why don’t you tell me? What the hell is this?”

Jeremy’s quick to try and cover, “That’s not what it looks like. Honest.”

The chief’s in no mood to be lied to. “Then why don’t you tell me what it is? And another thing. What’s in your water bottle?”

Jeremy’s head shoots up immediately, and the chief goes on, “You carry that with you everywhere you go. What are you putting in it?”

Jeremy shakes his head in confusion, “...water?”

The chief doesn’t believe him, “You sure about that? Let me see it.”

Jeremy goes on defense, “Why?”

The chief doesn’t bother asking again, snatching it up and unscrewing the cap and sniffing the vodka.

With that, the chief sets the bottle down and states, “As of now, you are hereby suspended without pay, pending internal review. I’m also going to need your gun and badge.”

Jeremy pathetically begs, “Not the badge, boss.”

“Are you aware of just exactly how many rules you’ve broken? I knew you were dirty, but I never thought you were this stupid.” The chief lectures.

Jeremy doesn’t even bother lying, just says, “I have to find him.”

“Not like this, you’re not. And you know that better than anybody. Gun and badge. Now.”

“I have to find him, boss.” Jeremy pleads.

“Jeremy, you sent out a nationwide APB. And you know damn well he’s not a murderer. For Christ sake, he’s your goddamn _husband!_ ”


	12. Nothing Can Change This Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: very graphic depictions of domestic violence in this chapter. You have been warned.

Somehow, after who knows how long, Buck manages to pull himself together to go straight towards his secondhand car, crying the whole way.

His hands are shaking so badly, it's a miracle he gets his key in the ignition, but Buck finally manages to gets the key to turn and the engine going, and peels out of the parking lot before someone catches him.

Buck can't stop himself from crying, now that no one's around to see, but he still manages to stay focused on the road. In fact, when he hears Chris call out, “Bucky!” behind him, he doesn’t stop, if anything that just makes him cry harder, more determined to get the hell away.

At some point, Buck’s tears dry up, and now he’s just focused on actually driving without hitting someone.

_The oven door opens, and it reveals the most perfect Georgia peach pie._

__

_“Something smells delicious.” Buck hears behind him, and turns, smiling._

_“You’re early.” Buck notes, right as Jeremy comes around the corner._

_“Aw, you’re busting my balls, babe.”_

Buck slightly veers off the road, and once he realizes he’s lost control, he quickly slams on the brakes and tries to pull over.

The airbag deploys, but otherwise, Buck’s unharmed.

 _“How’d your day go?”_ _Buck asks, all polite._

_“Exhausting, dirty.” Jeremy tells him as he loosens his tie, grabbing Buck from behind to hug him. “Sweltering, awful.”_

_“That’s a pretty picture.” Buck jokes._

Buck gets out of the car, wringing his hands as he tries to calm down.

_“What’s this?” Buck asks, seeing the jewelry box._

_“Do I need an excuse to buy my husband something?”_

_Buck pulls the watch out. "It's incredible."_

_"You like it?"_

_"Yeah, it's really amazing."_

_"May I?" Jeremy takes the watch._

_"Course." Buck replies, holding out his wrist._

As the memories keep coming, Buck clutches his head, wishing they would stop, but they refuse to.

_"I think this might be the best pie I've ever tasted." Jeremy compliments, as he takes another bite._

_"Yeah?" Buck smiles, as he takes his own bite. "New recipe."_

_"So delicious. Delicious."_

_Once he's finished, Buck picks up his plate, reaching out for Jeremy's as well,_

_"You done?"_

_When Jeremy nods, Buck moves to the kitchen, grabbing the wine bottle before he realizes what he just did._

_"Did I say I was done with that?"_

_Buck freezes, as he sets the plates on the counter._

Go away, Buck begs silently, leave me alone. But his mind doesn't give a crap about his feelings right now, as the memories play out.

_"No I just." Buck attempts to cover for himself. "I was just coming back to pour some more."_

_And Buck does exactly that, knowing he's on thin ice, but praying he managed to spare himself this time._

_He's wrong, as he soon realises when he hears,_

_"If you have a problem, I'd rather you just tell me."_

_Buck knows he has to be careful here, knowing Jeremy could go off any second, and tries to assure Jeremy, "I don't have a problem."_

_Jeremy points an accusing finger, "Yes you do. I can see it in your eyes."_

_Buck shakes his head, "There's nothing in my eyes."_

_But whatever little dance they've been doing is broken, as Jeremy accuses, "What the hell do you want from me?"_

_Buck is adamant, "Nothing. I don't want anything from you."_

_And in an instant, Jeremy's hand is smacking the wine glass, spilling glass and wine everywhere, making Buck flinch._

Stop it, Buck keeps silently begging, knowing it's useless.

_Buck quickly squats down to pick up the glass, as ever word Jeremy speaks feels like another nail in the coffin._

_"How many times do I have to say I'm sorry before you're satisfied? You're like a dog with a fucking bone. It's like I can't even breathe unless it's an apology. God, it's a miracle I don't--"_

_At that, Buck immediately stands up, quick to assure him,_

_"No. Everything is good. I swear it is. Let me just go and make coffee, huh?"_

_It has to be the dumbest thing Buck could've said, because the next thing he knows, he's being forcefully grabbed and shoved against the china cabinet._

_"You don't get to walk away from me."_

_Jeremy grabs Buck again, this time practically throwing him on the ground._

_"What the hell do you want from me, Ev?"_

_It barely even registers when Jeremy grabs him by the back of the head, yanking him up, shouting,_

_"I gave you everything, and this is how you repay me?!"_

_And shoves him into the living room._

_By now, Buck's a terrified crying mess, grabbing a knife begging,_

_"Stop. Stop it. Please, Jeremy just stop."_

_"What the FUCK do you want from me, huh?"_

_And before Buck can even blink, Jeremy's grabbing the hand holding the knife, overpowering him and making him drop it._

_Feeling what may well be his last hope, Buck tries one last time to beg, "Please stop."_

_Jeremy doesn't even give him a second's warning before Jeremy's shoving him on the floor, flat on his back, then keeping one hand on his throat._

_"You're going to listen to me." Jeremy starts, squeezing tighter to make Buck cough, as Buck tries to push him off._

_"You know I love you. I gave you that watch for a reason. So why did you have to go and make me do this to you?"_

_Buck's vision starts to blur, as he hears above him somewhere,_

_"Stop struggling."_

_Buck calls out, "Jeremy." Weakly, but that just seems to make him angrier._

_"I'd do anything for you, and to repay me you walk out on me?"_

_And then, like a sign from the universe itself, Buck sees the knife, and grabs for it desperately._

_The second it's in his hand, he doesn't think, just aims it at Jeremy, knowing he's succeeded when he hears the unmistakable sound of metal stabbing through skin._

_Jeremy cries out, finally pulling himself off of Buck to clutch at where Buck stabbed him, and promptly passing out._

_Buck wastes no time dashing to his bedroom, his freedom finally within reach._

Once Buck manages to walk again, he gets back in the car and keeps driving on the back road, and once he makes it back to his house, he just goes right inside, not even acknowledging Shannon as he starts packing


	13. Flying Solo

When Eddie somehow makes it back home, his feet take him to the base of the stairs that lead to the hideout above the garage.

But he doesn't go up this time. In fact, just looking at the stairs makes him want to break down crying, at the thought of what he was about to do.

"Whoa, hey, where's the fire?" Shannon's quick to ask as she follows Buck inside.

Buck doesn't even turn around as he says, "I'm getting the hell out of here. I've been here too long already."

Shannon doesn't bother hiding her confusion, "You're leaving? But you just got here!"

Buck dashes back to the bedroom as he replies, "This is exactly what I was afraid of, Shannon. What I did...I can't stay here for another second."

Shannon tries to reason with Buck, as he pulls stuff out of cupboards, "Okay, let's just calm down for a second so we can figure this out. Does Eddie know you're leaving?"

"Who do you think told me to get the hell out?"

That leaves Shannon stunned for a moment, as Buck keeps talking,

"Eddie would be happy if he never saw me again, and you know something? He should be."

That manages to loosen Shannon's tongue, enough to say, as Buck walks back to the bedroom

"Buck, wait. You can't just leave now. It's the coward's way out." 

That gets Buck to stop right in front of Shannon, look her dead in the eyes as he repeats,

"Coward's way? You think I'm being a coward? Then you really don't know me at all."

Shannon tries to get Buck to see the truth, as he just keeps moving back and forth from the same rooms,

"Buck, you have people here who care about you. You have to stay here and face this, not run from it."

"You mean like you?" Buck snaps, and he knows he's hit a nerve, by the hurt look on Shannon's face.

"What did you just say?"

Buck rolls his eyes, "Don't play dumb with me, Shannon. You just think you're stuck here, and you'll tell yourself literally anything so you don't have to leave. At least I know when enough is enough."

Buck's fully prepared for whatever Shannon could possibly fire back at him, anything except for what she actually says.

"You're absolutely right, Buck. You win. But you know what? Some of us aren't that lucky."

Then Shannon walks towards the door, with one last, "Best of luck to you, Buck.", before she leaves.

And that finally gets Buck to pause what he's doing, if only for a second, now feeling shitty for taking his hurt out on a woman who's been nothing but nice to him.

Eddie's now moved to his bedroom, staring out the window, head spinning.

He knows he was cruel, but he just had to do something, anything, to alleviate the pain.

But instead, it just magnified it. Worse, he can't find it in him to just move past it.

There's no way he can do that, not after trusting him with Chris. There has to be an explanation.

Before Eddie can talk himself out of it, he's jumping in the car, after calling Carla to watch Chris, and taking off to Buck's house.

He can only pray he gets there in time.

The second he pulls up to Buck's house, the first thing he sees is the front door wide open.

Quickly, Eddie gets out of the car, calling out, "Buck!"

When there's no answer, he walks inside, and once he sees it's empty, down to the bed that hasn't been slept in, he knows the truth.

Buck is gone.


	14. Chapter 14

The ticking of a clock is what finally snaps Eddie out of his haze, and when he sees what time it is, he’s dashing back to his car.

If there’s a chance he can catch Buck before he leaves, he has to do it.

Which turns out to be thought out better in his head, as he eventually gets stuck in traffic, and upon looking outside, he can see the long line of cars ahead of him.

That won’t do, Eddie decides as he opens his car door, and runs towards the bus station.

Sure enough, he sees Buck, and quickly calls out, “Buck. Buck!”

When Buck doesn’t turn around, Eddie walks right up to him, grabbing his arm, stopping him.

Seeing Eddie’s not going to let him go easily, Buck stops, sighing, “Eddie..I can’t.”, as he tries to move past him.

Eddie throws out his arms to block the path, quickly telling him, “Look, I’m sorry, okay? I’m so sorry.”

That gets Buck to stop, so Eddie uses that to continue,

“Buck, please, don’t go.”

But Buck knows he can’t do that, shaking his head, “No. You were right the whole time, Eddie. I have to get going.”

Buck tries to move past Eddie, as he tells him,

“He’ll find me, he’ll find us.”

Eddie reaches out an arm to stop Buck, “Whoa whoa whoa, wait a second. Just-just tell me what’s going on. Tell me what happened. If you’re in serious trouble, we can take it to the police. Talk to Athena.”

But Buck can’t let Eddie do that, “Eddie, you don’t get it. He _is_ the police.”

That finally leaves Eddie stunned silent, so Buck goes on,

“My husband is a cop in Hershey. That’s why he was able to put that flier out.”

Buck turns again, sure that’s going to be it, only to be stopped again when this time Eddie stands right in front of him.

“Hey, look at me. I don’t care, okay? I’m not gonna let him hurt you again.”

Buck wants to believe that so badly, but he can’t, shaking his head to distance himself.

Seeing this, Eddie repeats, making sure Buck knows he means it. “I. Am not. Going. To let him. Hurt you. Again.”

But Buck’s too smart to hang his hopes on a fantasy, and says, “It doesn’t matter anyway. I can’t put you through that. I can’t put your son through that.”, hoping Eddie notices he’s still respecting Eddie’s earlier order to not say Chris’ name.

“He’s never going to stop. He’s always going to be out there.”

Eddie doesn’t even try stopping Buck with his hands this time, instead just says, almost begging, “Buck, I need you to listen to me. Please.”

Buck knows he can’t afford to waste any more time here than he has to, but that all goes out the window when Eddie says,

“I’m in love with you.”

That manages to bring whatever else Buck was going to say to a screeching halt, but Eddie’s not finished.

“I’m in love with you, Buck, and if you stay, I swear to you, there’s no place safer as right here with me and Chris.”

Buck argues weakly, resolve breaking, “I’m scared, Eddie.”

Eddie reaches out to touch Buck, hands on his shoulder as he makes Buck look at him, “I know you are. But you don’t have to be anymore. You don’t have to be scared of him ever again.”

Buck’s mind is racing a mile a minute, knowing he should get on the bus, and never look back, for Eddie and Chris’ sake, if not just his own.

But before he can say or do anything, Eddie’s right there in front of him, hands on Buck’s head as he whispers in a shaky voice, “I love you, and I want you to stay, Buck.”

Whatever resolve Buck had shatters in an instant, and Buck pulls Eddie in, kissing him hard.

Eventually, they pull away, but they hold on with all their might, refusing to let go, Eddie scared Buck’s going to bolt, Buck scared he’s dreaming and will wake up any moment.

However long they stand there, they don't know, or even care, as they just stay right where they are, arms holding on tightly as the bus disappears behind them.


	15. I Only Have Eyes for You

"You just turn so cold like...like you're frozen, killing all life inside it. You just feel so trapped, like nothing you do will ever thaw you out. And I just kept enabling him." Buck tells Eddie, as they crawl into bed together.

Eddie keeps listening patiently, as Buck goes on, "Because it was always my fault. Never his. And you're trapped in the ice."

Here Buck has to stop, even going as far as to cover his face with his hands in shame, as the tears fall freely.

But Eddie's not about to let Buck hide from him again, reaching out a hand to stroke up and down Buck's back, "Hey, it's okay. It's okay. You're safe now."

Buck manages to say, "I've never talked about this with anyone before."

Eddie's quick to say, "I am so glad to have you here, Buck."

This much Buck can admit, "I am too.", but it doesn't stop him from breaking down crying all over again.

"It's all going to be okay, Buck. I promise."

With that, Eddie leans in to kiss Buck, and for the moment, they don't need to say anything else.

In Hershey, the upper bedroom light turns off, that’s Jeremy’s cue to make his move.

Thanks to the unauthorized stakeout, he knows one of the windows is slightly cracked open, and uses it as a means of getting inside.

He quietly searches the house, with only a pen light, until he sees an address book.

He almost pounces on it, flipping through it frantically until he finds a piece of paper that might be useful, then pockets it.

Then he sees the answering machine, sees there’s still one unheard message. Curious, he presses the play button.

As the machine states the time and date, Jeremy quickly covers it, to muffle the noise, knowing he’s hit the jackpot when he hears his husband’s voice,

_"I know, I should’ve called a while ago, but I wanted to tell you…"_

He doesn’t hear the rest, because he hears a door open, and quickly pauses the message, not moving as the old woman walks to the bathroom, without seeing him.

Once the door closes, he pushes the button again, and as he listens Buck’s voice, 

_"I finally made it somewhere safe.”_

He jots down the phone number listed on the caller ID.

The phone rings when Jeremy dials the number, as he speeds down the road, then he hears,

 _You’ve reached Station 118 of the Los Angeles Fire Department. All of our members are either on a call or otherwise occupied. Please leave your contact information, and we’ll get back to you as soon as possible. Or contact us at_ [ _LAFDBrush@lacity.org_ ](mailto:LAFDBrush@lacity.org) _._

The more he listens, the more Jeremy has to fight to calm himself down, even going so far as to slap himself.

He takes a drink from the bottle of scotch he'd bought at some point, to settle his nerves.

Come hell or high water, he's going to get his husband back, and if it's the last thing he ever does, he's taking Buck with him.


	16. Every Breath You Take

The next morning, Buck’s sitting on Eddie’s front porch, eating breakfast with his two favorite Diaz boys.

Once they finish, Eddie goes to put the plates away, only to see someone already trying.

“Trying to help, huh, buddy? I appreciate it, but I got it from here.”

On the road, Jeremy’s still driving, not entirely sure how he’s still awake after who knows how many hours of no sleep.

But then he sees the watch he gave Buck hanging from the rearview mirror, and it becomes crystal clear.

Buck’s not getting away, not this time, never again.

Eddie gestures for Chris to follow, and as he puts the dishes in the sink, he tells Chris patiently,

“Listen, little man, if you have a problem with Buck being here.”

Chris is already shaking his head, “No! I like having Bucky with us. And I like Bucky.”

Eddie’s face lights up hearing that, “You like Buck?”

Chris nods enthusiastically. “Yeah, I do.”

Eddie tells him, “Well, I like him too.”

Chris gestures for Eddie to come closer, and when Eddie leans down, Chris whispers, “I think he likes you back.”

Once again, Chris has managed to surprise Eddie, “Yeah?”

After Jeremy had finally made it to the airport, he’d managed to catch a seat on a plane that wasn’t fully booked, the watch firmly on his wrist when he eventually finally lands in LA.

Unfortunately the LA traffic has his rental in a standstill, so he just opens the driver’s door, gets out, and starts walking.

The moment he finds the source of the traffic, he throws his bottle of scotch at them angrily, then storms back to his rental and drives away.

Finally, finally, he makes it to the 118 fire station, only to find that most of the team is gone, most likely out on a call.

But he just walks right inside anyway, frantic as he searches the other trucks, the gym, anywhere he can see.

When his search attempts are thwarted, he kicks the side of one of the trucks, before marching upstairs to start looking there, gasping for air.

The first thing he sees is a kid with glasses and crutches sitting on the couch, drawing in a coloring book, with a girl that has to be in her teens sitting with him, the heat making her doze.

“Do you need something?”, the kid asks.

At this point, Jeremy’s covered in sweat and can barely think straight, but he just starts looking around the loft, as he hears the kid ask behind him,

“What’re you looking for?”

At that, Jeremy turns, almost sneering, “You’re a little young to be here by yourself, aren’t you?”

At this, the kid says cheerfully, “My daddy’s a firefighter.”

Jeremy tries to ask, “So where’s your daddy now.”

The kid’s smile gets so big when he says, “He’s out saving people!”

Jeremy takes a chance, “What’s your name?”

The kid eagerly replies, “Christopher.”

Glad to have a kid on his side, he shows his badge, “Christopher, I’m a police officer. I’ve come a very long way to come here.”

Chris’ face lights up in recognition, “D-do you know Aunty ‘Thena?”

This just keeps getting better. “Yes I do. She invited me herself. You know how I can call her?”

But that was apparently the wrong thing to say, as Chris then asks, “If you’re a cop, where’s your uniform?”

Seeing he’s gonna have to cover for himself, Jeremy tries to explain, “Christopher, I’m a detective. You know what that is?”

Chris nods. “Y-you catch the bad guys.”

Jeremy agrees, “That’s right. But what you may not know is I also help find missing people.”

Jeremy pauses here to pull out a piece of paper, “And that’s why I’m here now, Chris. Can I call you Chris? I’m looking for a missing person.”

Jeremy smooths out the paper, holding it up so Chris can see the picture of Buck on the person of interest flier.

“Have you seen this man, Chris?”

By now, Chris is too smart to not know something’s wrong, so when he sees the picture of Buck, he studies it for a second, then shakes his head, “No.”

Jeremy wants to snap, but he manages to keep it under wraps as he pushes, moving it closer, “Are you sure?”

Chris nods, “I’m sure.”

Jeremy warns, “You know it’s bad to lie to a cop, right, Chris?”

“I know.”

Seeing he’s not getting anywhere, Jeremy puts the flier back in his pocket.

“Alright then. You have a nice say, Christopher.”

Only, right as Jeremy walks towards the stairs, the team finally pulls into the station.

A quick glance proves Buck is not with them, so he walks right past the rest of the team, right past Eddie, who follows him with his gaze for just a second, before shaking it off to join Christopher and May up in the loft.

“You two ready to go?”

With no one watching, Jeremy walks to his car, this time moving to grab a very shiny loaded gun out of the backseat.

If he can’t have Buck, no one can.


	17. My Baby's Got To Pay the Rent

Chris has all but forgotten about his strange encounter with the strange man when Eddie takes him downtown to watch the 4th of July parade.

They both watch as marching bands, flag teams, and several other organizations march down the streets, even with paper mache heads of George Washington and Abe Lincoln.

On another side of the crowd, Buck’s swept away by all the excitement, smiling and laughing as he looks to catch up with Eddie and Chris.

What he doesn’t see is Jeremy also making his way through the crowd unseen, as more parade floats go by, getting more agitated when he doesn’t see Buck.

He even manages to step out in the street to see the crowds better, looking them all up and down in search of the one man he’s refusing to leave without.

As he takes a drink of his scotch, he’s sure he’s getting some odd looks for standing in the middle of a parade, but he couldn’t care less right now.

In fact, once he sees a flash of what he thinks is Buck, he’s walking right towards them. Even when it turns out to not be him, he doesn’t stop looking.

Later, the whole 118 team is at the barbeque organized by Bobby and Athena, along with several people who don’t have anywhere else to go, at the 118 fire station.

As a live band plays, Buck, Eddie and Chris dance together, just happy to be together.

Refusing to give up, Jeremy had followed along with the other outsiders, not saying a word to anyone, searching for the only man he’d come to this hippie wasteland for.

He’s almost ready to give up, when he suddenly stops cold.

There he is. Some guiri bastard, and that crippled kid, dancing with _his_ husband.

With the music pounding in his ears, he walks right towards them.

Or, he would’ve, had he not seen that bastard kiss his husband.

Now he has to step back, calm down a little, before he does something really stupid.

Once he does, he walks away, but not before he catches Shannon’s eye, who had been watching him since he first showed up.

All the while, Buck, Eddie and Chris keep dancing, completely oblivious.

“Fireworks are starting at 9, and we should be back shortly after.” Eddie calls back, as he and Buck walk out the front door.

But Denny, who Hen had dropped off earlier, is already trying to follow, “Can I come too?”

Eddie’s surprised, “You want to?”

Denny nods excitedly, “Yeah.”

Eddie quickly agrees, “Okay. Go get your shoes.”

While Denny does so, Eddie tells Buck, “If Chris’ stomach still hurts, try chamomile tea. Usually does the trick. I always keep it stocked for him for exactly this reason.”

Buck nods, “I think I got it.”

When Eddie tries asking, “Are you sure?”, Buck’s quick to say, “Yes! Now go!”

As Eddie walks to the car, Buck walks back to the house, calling out, “Have fun! Be safe!”

As Eddie and Denny make it to the pier, unbeknownst to them, Jeremy is watching from a fair distance away, hiding in the bushes, gun pointed at both of them, practically begging them to give him an excuse to pull the trigger.

Back at Eddie’s, Buck’s just settling down with Chris in bed, asking,

“Starting to feel better?”

Eddie and Denny ride off towards where they’re setting off the fireworks, cheering and whooping as they watch them all go off one by one.

Once Chris is asleep, Buck steps out onto the front lawn to get a closer look at the explosions of color above him, and he’s so preoccupied, he doesn’t hear anyone come up behind him until he hears,

“Buck.”

Buck turns without thinking, and immediately, he says,

“Shannon, listen, I want to apologize for what I said...”

“He’s here.” Shannon interrupts.

The words only succeed in confusing him, so he has to ask, “Who is?”

Shannon only gives him a knowing look, “I think you know.”

A particularly loud firework explodes closer to where Buck’s standing, and in that one instant, he realizes Shannon’s right.

Buck immediately wakes, not sure where he is for a split second, but a quick pat around has him remembering. Chris. Sick. Staying with.

That helps shake some of the confusion he felt upon waking, but as he carefully stands up, he still can’t shake the sinking feeling in his gut as he walks towards the front door.

“You shaved your hair.”


	18. Blown Away

On instinct, Buck’s entire body tenses, from the voice he knows so well, one that never fails to make him want to run away and never show his face again.

Slowly, he turns around, praying to whoever’s listening he’s wrong, because he has to, he has to, hehasto.

He’s not. That immediately becomes apparent, the second Buck lays eyes on him.

“Jeremy.”

“You look good. Really good.” Jeremy goes on, as he moves closer.

Buck knows the key here is to not let this escalate, no matter what, because he has a kid sleeping in the other room that comes first, he wouldn’t dare think otherwise.

Buck plays it cool, “Thanks.”

Here, Jeremy laughs maniacally as he keeps coming closer, lit up by the fireworks outside. “I found you. I fucking found you! God, I’ve missed you so much, Evan.”

Somehow, deep down inside him, he manages to force a calm he doesn’t feel as he asks, “What’re you doing here?”

Jeremy looks down at that, before going for feigned aloofness, “Just want to talk, you know?” but that quickly deteriorates as he still moves closer, practically begging, “I just want to talk. We used to talk about everything. Don’t you remember? It didn’t even matter what we talked about. We’d just talk for hours.”

Now that he’s barely a foot away from Buck, he tries to reach out a hand, “I miss you so much, sweetheart.”

Buck immediately backs away, still calm as he says, “Okay. Talk.” Then he leads Jeremy to the front door, “Outside.”, praying he can get him away from Chris before this escalates.

Buck refuses to relax, if only a little, until he’s sure Jeremy’s out of the house, and leads him down the street, towards the beach.

Once he’s sure they’re a fair distance away, Buck asks,

“So what is it you want to talk about?”

Jeremy wastes no time telling him, reaching out a hand, “Let’s go home.”

Buck doesn’t take this hand either, keeping himself out of reach as he states, “I am home.”, knowing this is where it’s going to turn ugly.

Sure enough, as Jeremy drops his hand, he almost sneers, “What, here? With _him_?”

That makes Buck panic slightly, but quickly forces it down as he lets Jeremy continue, fireworks booming above them.

“I saw you. Earlier today. But we both know he doesn’t know you like I do. He doesn’t love you like I do. And never will.”

Buck forces himself to agree, “No, he doesn’t.”

But Jeremy’s too smart, even half wasted, to not see what Buck is actually saying, and accuses,

“You want _me_ to leave?”

Buck has no problem whatsoever replying, “Yes. Leave.”

But the time for civility is over, as out of nowhere, Jeremy pulls a gun out, snapping, “You’re done telling me what to do.”

But instead of pointing it at Buck, he rests it on the side of his own head, clearly agitated as he turns around.

Buck goes again, more confident this time. “You hurt me.”

Jeremy whispers, and even then Buck still barely hears it, “I know.”

Buck keeps going, “You wouldn’t stop hurting me.”

That’s enough to get Jeremy to turn around again, “I know!”

Buck puts all of his new found authority into his voice as he orders, “Get the hell out of here. Now!”

Whether it’s because all the wind’s been let out of his sail seeing Buck reject him, or because he’s wasted, Jeremy tries one last time, as he starts walking, “You’re making a big mistake.”

But Buck’s not the guy from Hershey anymore, “No, I’m not.”, and, in this moment, means it more than he's ever meant anything.

Maybe even Jeremy can see that, as he starts walking away.

Once Buck's sure he's not going to turn around again, Buck sprints back to the house, only one person on his mind as he tears through the house, heart pounding when he sees Chris isn't where Buck left him.

Thankfully, Chris hadn't wandered far, just to the backyard to watch the fireworks, as Buck quickly finds once he checks.

In an instant, he's carefully picking the kid up and back inside,

"You scared me, little man."

Chris tries to protest tiredly, "But I want to watch the fireworks!"

Buck doesn't stop moving until he reaches the base of the stairs in the house's garage.

"I know, Superman, but we're going to watch them from up here, okay?"

Whatever protest Chris tries to make is ignored as Buck gets them both inside the room above the garage.

Once he has his feet on the floor, Buck sets Chris down in front of the window, making the kid look at him as Buck tells him,

"Okay, I think it's safer up here. I need you to stay up here, okay, Chris?"

Once Chris nods, Buck quickly pulls off his own light jacket and wraps it around the little boy,

"Here, this should keep you warm."

Buck reaches out a hand to rest on Chris' neck, assuring him, "It's all gonna be okay. I promise. I'm just gonna be down below."

Buck knows how badly this could turn, especially for a kid with cerebral palsy, but right now all he cares about is keeping this amazing little kid, the only one that takes up more space in his heart than Eddie, safe.

And if that means leaving him alone somewhere Jeremy can't find him, so be it.

The second Bucks back in the main house, he dashes over to where Eddie wrote down the number to reach him, using the landline to frantically punch the buttons in.

"C'mon Eddie." Buck whispers as he phone rings.

When no one picks up, he quickly opens the phone book to where the numbers officially listed, and punches it in again.

Only to have the phone ringing be promptly drowned out by the sound of liquid dripping, and when he looks, whatever panic he'd felt before was a pinprick, compared to the stab to the chest he feels at the sight of Jeremy pouring gasoline all over the house.

The very thing he’d done to keep Chris safe is now going to be the reason he might die. And it’s Buck’s fault.

Buck refuses to take his eyes off of Jeremy, as he finally finishes emptying the gas can and sits down on the porch, pulling what can only be a silver lighter out of his pocket.

The second he sees the flame, Buck charges.

“Oh my God.”

In an instant, he’s outside, walking slowly towards Jeremy so as to not spook him, then gets down right in front of Jeremy, hands closing over the lighter.

Whatever haze is in Jeremy’s eyes, doesn’t entirely clear as he looks at Buck, as he feels Buck force his hands to close the lighter shut, knowing that he has to do, and praying it works

Once that’s done, Buck looks right at him as he says, “I’m so sorry, Jeremy. You have no idea how happy I am you found me.”

Jeremy doesn’t react, and when Buck tries to get him to stand up, and says, “Take me home.”, he’s still not entirely there.

So when Jeremy asks, “What’re you doing?”, and Buck replies, “I want you to take me home.”, only then does Jeremy finally stand up.

Buck says it one more time, “Take me home.”, and even goes as far as to pull Jeremy in, and Jeremy falls for it.

Something he realizes too late when in an instant, Buck’s shoving him right off the porch, right at the same second a firework that went off too close to the house falls right on the gasoline.

The second Buck hears the rush of a fire, he turns around in an instant, and upon seeing the fire reach the porch, he doesn’t even register taking off in a sprint, just does it on autopilot.

“CHRIS!”


	19. Setting Fire to Your House

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: house fire, domestic violence

Eddie’s still laughing as he watches yet another set of fireworks go off, but when he turns towards his house, and sees the flames, he’s quickly turning the boat to shore.

“Chris! CHRIS!”

Chris moves a little sluggishly towards the stairs upon hearing Buck, but once he sees the stairs are on fire, he starts crying.

“Bucky...”

Buck’s vocabulary has apparently dwindled down to one word, “CHRIS!”, but he doesn’t get the chance again, as he’s grabbed from behind, one hand over his throat and mouth, the other around his chest as he’s forcefully yanked to the ground.

The second the boat touches the sand, Eddie’s taking off towards the house, staring in horror as he sees Chris is in Shannon’s hideout.

But he doesn’t stop, no way in hell, until he’s close enough to call out, and the second Chris sees him, he's screaming,

“DADDY!”

Eddie’s already working to get up there, grabbing the scaffolding under the garage roof to pull himself up, calling out,

“Hold on, Chris! Hold on!”

Buck elbows Jeremy in the solar plexus, succeeding in getting to Jeremy loosen his hold, long enough to get free and start dashing towards the house, desperate to get to Chris.

But it’s no use, as Jeremy quickly catches up with him, tackling him to the ground and forcing Buck to look at him.

Finally, Eddie reaches the window, as he keeps talking, “I’m here Chris. I’m here. I need you to back up for me, little man. Can you back up?”

Once he sees Chris’ silhouette is safely away from the window, Eddie doesn’t hesitate, just puts his foot right through the window, the glass shattering on impact and landing all over the floor.

The second he knows it’s safe, he enters through the now open window.

“I gave you everything!” Jeremy shouts in Buck’s face, as Buck tries to push him off.

Eddie immediately wraps Chris up in his arms, and once he's sure Chris isn't seriously injured, just scared, he slowly walks back through the window, careful to not bump into any broken glass still on the hinges.

Once they're safely out, Eddie sets Chris down on a spot on the roof, telling him, "Okay, just sit here for a second, alright? Everything's okay."

But then he hears the yell from down below, and the sight that greets him is one he knows he's going to be seeing in his nightmares for quite a while.

Buck, being forcefully held down by a man that can only be his ex husband, raising a fist and straight up punching Buck right across the face

"Buck!"

Only, as he calls out, he completely forgets about the open window right next to him, and the blast of fire that comes out of it knocks him off his balance, making him roll right off the roof, into the hard concrete driveway below.

He'll definitely feel that in the morning, he thinks as he manages to get vertical again.

Buck and Jeremy keep struggling, until miraculously, Buck reaches into the back of Jeremy's pants, where he knows he keeps a gun, and pistol whips Jeremy hard enough to push him off.

But Eddie can't think about Buck at the moment, because his son with cerebral palsy is still stuck on the roof, one that's going to give out before long.

Eddie reaches both arms up, encouraging Chris,

"Chris, I need you to come down, okay? I need you to slide down, stand up, and fall off the roof for me."

Chris moves towards the edge, but it's clear he's still terrified. How could he not be? Eddie's terrified from the safety of the ground.

"You can do it, Chris. Just like Superman, right?"

Chris is right there, but Eddie can see him start to tear up, and knows he has to keep talking.

"Count of three. Ready? One...two... three!"

Chris doesn't think, just lets himself fall right off, screaming as he lands in the safety of his dad's arms.

For the moment, Eddie just holds Chris close, simultaneously relieved and terrified of what almost happened.

Then, once he's composed himself, he walks towards where he last saw Buck.

By now, both Buck and Jeremy have a firm grip on the gun, struggling for control.

But Jeremy's looking to be the winner, as he forces both hands to point the gun towards Buck, right under their faces.

"I'm sorry." Jeremy says, knowing what he has to do. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

And then the gun goes off, and the struggle immediately ceases.

The second he hears the shot, Eddie's frozen in place, heart pounding.

"No. NO!"


	20. We Both Know

Chris starts squirming in Eddie’s arms, trying to look, but Eddie holds him tightly, refusing to let his son see what may very well be Buck’s dead body, as he walks closer.

There’s some loud panting, and a grunt, and in an instant, Jeremy’s being pushed off, to reveal Buck, clearly freaked out but mostly unharmed, as he stands up, then looks down.

Big mistake.

The first thing he sees is his husband’s dead body, with a fresh bullet wound shot right through his face.

The first thing he’s aware of is Eddie, panting as he rushes over to him, Chris in his arms, then abruptly stops when he sees Buck.

Buck walks right over to them, saying only one word, “Chris.”

At that, Chris turns his head, and faster than any of them can blink, Buck’s wrapping Chris up in his own arms, whispering frantically.

“You okay? I’m so sorry, Chris. Are you okay?”

Meanwhile, Eddie’s just staring at the both of them in a daze, before he finally manages to say something.

“He’s okay. We’re all okay.”

At that, it’s like Buck suddenly remembered Eddie was there, and in the next instant, he’s grabbing Eddie with his free arm, Eddie grabbing them with both of his arms, hugging as tightly as they can.

None of this is even close to being okay, but for right now, with Buck’s ex husband officially no longer a problem, and the three of them safe and sound, it feels like it will be.

Thankfully the 118 gets there quickly, putting Jeremy in a body bag, away from prying eyes so as not to scare Chris, and putting out the flames.

As Buck and Eddie both walk through the burnt rubble of the house, Eddie stops when he sees the trunk he’d been looking through not too long ago.

Eddie struggles to open it, now damaged from the fire, but once he does, he almost can’t believe it when he sees Shannon’s letters are still in there, completely unharmed.

Eddie quickly puts them in a box for all the stuff he’s pulled out so far, then starts to pick something else up, when he hears the unmistakable sound of someone crying.

Eddie turns to look, and sure enough, Chris is sitting on what’s left of the porch, whimpering as Eddie moves to sit next to him.

“Hey, little man.”

Chris doesn’t even look up, as he whispers. “It’s gone.”

Eddie hates he can’t do more besides rub a hand on his son’s back as he replies, “I know it’s gone. But we’ll rebuild it. And it’ll be even better. Okay?”

But that couldn’t have prepared Eddie for what Chris says next, “I miss Mommy.”, fresh tears falling.

Eddie has to wipe a hand over his own face at that, wishing more than anything he could take this pain away from Chris, but knowing he can’t.

He somehow manages to say, “I miss her too, superman.”, then wraps his son up in a hug, as he admits, “I’m always going to miss her.”

That just makes Chris start crying all over again, so Eddie says nothing more as he stays where he is, holding Chris in his arms as he just lets Chris cry on him.

“So you’re really leaving, huh?” Buck asks Shannon a few days later, as they walk along the beach.

“Yep. I think we both know it’s time for me to leave.” Shannon gives a sad smile, but it’s clear she’s already made up her mind.

Buck still offers, “Well, call me once you get wherever you’re going. I want to know you’re okay.”

Instead of replying, Shannon turns to the horizon, sitting down on the sand, “Would you look at this beautiful sunrise? It’s almost like it’s setting the sky on fire. It almost looks photoshopped.”

Then, she looks at Buck again, “Buck, I want you to promise me something.”

Buck immediately agrees, “Name it.”

“Promise me you'll never stop making memories. The only ones you’ll regret are the ones you never made.”

Buck nods in agreement, then says, “Thank you.”

Shannon turns again, as Buck continues, “For being the friend I needed.”

They don’t say anything for a moment, just sharing a smile, before Shannon breaks the silence first,

“You deserve it, Buck. You belong here, and we both know it.”

A few days later, as Eddie’s setting his box from the house down on Buck’s kitchen counter, he looks out the window, smiling when he sees Buck playing some made up game with Chris, both of them laughing their heads off when Chris accuses Buck of cheating.

It’s a sight Eddie will never get tired of, and never wants to.

And that’s why, not even needing to second guess this time, he walks right out to where Buck and Chris are, and once Buck greets him, “Hey.”, Eddie holds out a letter.

“I have a letter. I know now it’s meant for you.”

Buck lifts an eyebrow, “Oh yeah? What is it?”

Buck takes it, reading the envelope,

_For the Next One._

Buck’s not sure what to make of it, but Eddie quickly says,

“I’m gonna take Chris inside. Give you some privacy to read.”

Eddie does just that, picking Chris up despite his protests, which turn into giggles when Eddie tries to blow raspberries on him.

Now that he’s alone, Buck carefully opens the envelope, moving to his porch and sitting on the second step.

_To the one that’s stolen my husband’s heart_

_If you’re reading this, then I know it’s true. He’s in love with you. No hesitation, not a doubt in his mind. He never would’ve given you this if there were._

Here, Buck pauses to look inside, where he locks eyes with Eddie for a brief second, then turns back to read.

_I can only hope it’s the same for you. But I wanted to write this letter for you, because there’s one thing that I really, really need you to know. I am so happy to know he found you. My only regret is that I wasn’t there, some way, somehow, to meet you. Maybe in a way, I was. Outside of my husband and our beautiful son, you’re the most important person in my life. Because now that I can’t be, they’re with you now._

_It’s your job to take care of them now. Make them laugh until they get stomach cramps, let them cry on your shoulder until they start hiccuping. Stand by them, no matter what, show them what it means to be there for each other._

_The thought of you filling my shoes fills my heart with hope. Hope Eddie will remember how it feels to truly fall in love with someone. Hope Chris finds someone to be his personal champion alongside his dad. Hope that Chris will have someone to stop him from bolting on his wedding day. Hope that one day my family will be even more beautiful for having been broken by my absence. And perhaps the biggest of all, hope that, in some way, I can face it all with you. Watching over all three of you._

_All my love,_

_Shannon Diaz_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaaaaaand it's done! Phew! It's been quite the bumpy ride, with all the tears and love expected, but we finally finished!
> 
> Next up: my first Buddie longfic! Hope to see you there!

**Author's Note:**

> Comments comments comments!


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